Tea & Ink

Throw it away

2011-12-27T21:38:00.000+10:00

I just threw out half of a pie, three bags of candy, a whole box of candy canes, the rest of my beloved peppermint ice cream, half a can of condensed milk, and half a liter of eggnog. Horrified? I was, too. My treasure is food.

Photo from pinmarklet on Pinterest

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:19-21

My treasure is food, and if my heart is where my treasure is, then my heart is on the verge of a diabetic coma.

It started with a gentle whisper from God. The whole day, I nibbled at the pie, drank some eggnog, ate a few pieces of candy and then cringed when I saw my bloated tummy in the mirror (and wondered if anyone would ask me if I was pregnant today--‘cause it really did look like it!). Tonight, after eating an unbalanced dinner, I was just about to reach for something sweet to finish off the meal when I heard the whisper.

Beloved...you don’t need that...and it’s trapping you. Give it to Me and I will free you from your bondage.

But, God...all that food will go to waste!

Beloved...throw it away. Trust Me to provide you with food that will nourish and strengthen you instead of slowly poisoning My temple. Honor Me...throw it away.

Okay, God. I get it. I will throw away all of it...except the peppermint ice cream. Surely it’s okay if I keep that one treat just in case, right?

As I went about throwing away the pie and candy, I started to pray.

Lord, I lay this before you and throw it away to honor You. I want to worship you with all of me, Jesus.

Samantha...throw it all away. Even the ice cream.

Do I really have to, Lord?

If you want to worship Me with all of you, yes. (Don’t you just love how God puts us in our place when we need it?)

Okay, okay. I will do it.

So I did. I got the ice cream out, oh the sweet nectar of Christmas, and scooped the rest of it in the trash. Then, I thought...well, I can always make more in a few weeks once I get my addiction under control. This process went on and on, and one by one, God took each and every sweet snack in my house, even some of the ingredients I could make more sweets out of, and told me to give it to Him. With each thing, I struggled thinking again how I was wasting food or how I could surely give it to someone else (Which the Lord gently reminded me: They don’t need it, either!) As I threw each sweet in the bin, I felt a little lighter and a little freer. I do have control over this, not by my strength, but by His. Where I am weak, He is strong.

Until we give it all to Him, we cannot be truly healed.

Moving and Decorating ideas

2011-12-07T12:01:00.001+10:00

After much prayer and consideration, we have decided to move to a house across town. While I'm not necessarily looking forward to the hard work of moving, I am certainly looking forward to nesting in a new place (which will, hopefully, be more permanent this time). The new place has a lot of things that the house we're currently living in does not have, and I am looking forward to some "upgrades." The things I'm most excited about are:

An a/c
A dishwasher
A gas stove
A laundry room (this house has a washer in the kitchen and I have really missed having a place to put my mess).
A bathtub! (some days you just need a bath)
A laundry shoot in the bathroom. (Some things should never have been omitted).
A fireplace (although it doesn't work, but it reminds me of American homes, so I'm looking forward to it).

Because I can't nest quite yet, I have been scouring Pinterest for some home ideas that I can apply in this new place. The fireplace, like I said, doesn't work, but I thought we could still decorate it and make it look nice. Here's one idea I liked, which I found on Melissa Junkel's "Details" board:

Source: apartment46blog.com via Samantha on Pinterest

I thought this looked nice and doesn't have to be expensive, depending on the candles you buy.

Also, something I haven't done thus far when we've rented in Australia is hanging pictures up. We are not allowed to nail anything into the wall, so I have hesitated a lot. I have also received mixed messages about whether we can use 3M hooks to hang pictures, so I have just avoided it altogether. This time, I'm going to find out specifics and see if we can go a little further with nesting by hanging some personal photos around. I saw this on Jennifer Grozinski's "For the Home" board and loved it:

Source: littlemissmomma.com via Samantha on Pinterest

Now, of course, we don't have children yet, but I like the shapes and the fact that she used one clear idea in displaying her photos. When little Newmans do come around, I would love to set it up the same way.

Something we like about moving across town is the fact that it's not far. What we did last year and what we're doing this time is taking a week to move house and clean the previous rental. That way, we can move things little by little with out boxes and put them into place as we go. That way, when we officially get into the house, there will only be a small amount of arranging and moving that we need to do. I can't wait!

Sanctified

2011-11-23T18:48:00.001+10:00

Today, I gave Guster, my guinea pig, a bath. This was my first time bathing him, so I think we were both nervous. Gus is usually a sweet-natured, quiet guinea pig; as soon as I tried to bathe him, however, he squirmed and contorted attempting to find a finger he could chomp into. Somehow, I succeeded in keeping my fingers free from his rodent teeth, but it was quite a scene, I'm sure. Plus, my peacemaking heart started feeling guilty for upsetting him (HA! How silly...)

"Sanctification means to make something clean that was dirty, in the sense of evil or selfishness; it also means to set apart to be made pure or holy, to be made clean." (Floyd McClung, the Father Heart of God; p. 70).

When we are healed and sanctified, it's not always an instantaneous process. Healing is often a longer process, involving time and discomfort. Like Gus, we squirm and become a vicous version of ourselves. I know I've talked a lot about my trials in the past 2 years...and it has certainly been one of the hardest times in my life. God has taught me that He wants us involved in our healing process. I often try to avoid thinking about the pain, and I do think that a lot of my healing process could've gone quicker if I was more willing to sit down and think about what I'm going through. But there are dishes, video games, pinterest, blogs, videos, social outings, and plans that distract me enough that I can put it off for one more week or day, hour or minute.

Embrace the pain.

And be honest with God. Quite a few times, I've gotten so tired of holding all the pain in that I've broken down and confronted God with my questions...questions like "Where are You," "How am I supposed to trust you when the only dad I've known has rejected me," "Why does this still hurt?" And each time, He has proven to me that He can handle all my questions, all my doubts, all my fears, and all my pain. He is here, He is the perfect Father that will never leave or forsake me, and one day I will live with Him where there is no pain! He can handle your questions, Dearheart. Ask them and be open to hearing what He has to say in response.

Wishing you love and hope in your journey,

Tips for quitting your job and what it meant to me

2011-11-01T22:42:00.000+10:00

Day 1 of Art Every Day month.
This represents what quitting my job means to me.

I started experiencing panic attacks in high school, and immediately knew that I needed to drop the thing that stressed me the most. A lot can change in a few short weeks, and I realised last week that I needed to drop the greatest stressor in my life at this point: My job at the Tea Centre. There are many reasons for the stress factor, and all I can really say at this point is that I began having panic attacks last week in direct relation to the job. Thus, it had to go. So, after realising this, I had two awful days of praying and waiting to tell the manager at the next shift. In the time I had to think about everything, I thought of a few things that did help me in the quitting process.

I believe quitting should always be done in person. I think it's rude to quit over the phone (as I saw one girl on youtube do...such a cop out).
Make sure you are making the right decision. For me, this meant making sure that Daniel was in agreement with me. It also meant crunching numbers with him and figuring whether or not we would be eating pork and beans over the summer if I quit and couldn't find any other work. When we realised we'd have more than enough with out my extra income, I felt happy to consider this a green light. Of course, I bathed the decision in prayer as well.
On the day that you're going to speak to the boss or manager, make sure you feel confident. I painted my nails, put my hair in a way that made me feel good, and took extra care in doing my make up.
Rehearse what you're going to say. I rehearsed over and over on the way to work. This helped me when I talked to the manager, because I was prepared for some (not all, but some) of the questions and comments she had about my decision.
Try to keep positive in the last two weeks. I have dreaded having to continue working, but it's important to finish what you've committed to. I keep a countdown in my head (and sometimes my twitter) of how many shifts down and how many to go. This is helping me as I cross the tea centre finish line.

Do you have any other tips for those looking to find another job?

The above collage is my kick off for the Art Every Day month challenge. For the month of November, I will be doing something creative every day. Sometimes I will post my projects, and I'm hoping it will help me blog quite a bit more. The point is to bring your creativity to another level, and I'm looking forward to this journey. My collage for today was focused on what quitting my job means for me.

Please let me know if you're joining the Art Every Day month challenge, especially if you're visiting to see what I'm doing each day!

Have a great week,

Art Every Day Month

2011-10-28T10:00:00.000+10:00

I subscribe to quite a few email newsletters, and many times I take a few days to get through them properly. Well, recently, I read through Jen's newsletter (from Artizen Coaching) and excitedly realized that I can sign up for the Art Every Day Month challenge. This project runs through the 30 days of November, and it was created by Leah at Creative Every Day (see link above for more information).

I am excited about this challenge for several reasons. First of all, it will help me share more about my life with you. I have mourned the loss of consistent blogging, but I'm ready to claim my creativity back once again. Also, I have experimented a little with painting, and I would like to explore this more. So, I will enthusiastically take on this challenge and look forward to what I end up with. This might mean that some days I only do a small doodle or write something in my journal, but creating is what counts. I am looking forward to it.

If you would like to join this challenge, you can sign up at Leah's site and be added to the list. Also, I'd love to know if you have signed up so that I can keep up with your creativity, too! I find other's creativity inspiring, and I think we all need a creative community of some sort.

Here's to November!

2011-10-11T20:02:00.001+10:00

Cherry blossoms, Laurel Bank Park Toowoomba

Spring is in full swing here in Australia. Birds joyfully share their new songs, the grass is lush and green, and the beautiful Aussie gardens are in full bloom. This morning, as I walked through the small sweet town in which I reside, I saw several parrots fly by and thought how I'd like to live no where else. Yes, I did have a dream about getting to eat at Cracker Barrell for the first time in 2.5 years. Yes, I have a scant amount of clothes and shoes because I've hardly bought anything (but have rid my closet of plenty) because of the obscene prices for everything here. Reflecting back on the last two years, however, helps me to see how God's hand has orchestrated everything in my life, and moving to Australia has been no exception.

When I first moved here, I had a hard time...with everything. I missed American food (particularly candy corn), I missed not feeling like a freak for using certain lingo, I missed my family, I missed my friends...well, you get the picture. I missed everything. I'm not sure that I fully grasped how difficult it would be to start over in such a complete way...and I'm not sure that I actually thought we'd be here for very long. After about a year, though, things started to get better. My parents got divorced, and I began to see that God's hand was in my living overseas simply for the fact that I had to stay out of it (my peace maker heart always wants to help, especially my parents). I began to see that I could stand on my own two feet, side by side with my husband in my new family unit, and we could thrive. Lately, I've seen that God literally had to isolate me in order to get my attention...in order to show me that He really does care, even when it feels like no one else does.

So, here's my favourite things about living in Australia so far:

1. The wildlife. I see wild parrots on a daily basis. 'Nuff said.
2. The farming culture. I am a city girl, and I'm sure that the people in my town can see that by looking at me, but I love having local produce, dairy, and meat available with out having to go out of my way too much.
3. Opportunity for small businesses. Having started my own small business this past year, I am ever grateful for the opportunity that Australian culture gives to people that want to have their own business.
4. The weather. Always fine and usually sunny.
5. Gardens. Aussies are such amazing gardeners. All I really have to do to see an incredible garden is look at my neighbors yards. And there are parks everywhere displaying beautiful gardening, too.
6. The haven. I remember considering Clark Hall my haven when I was engaged to Daniel. It was a single room dorm where I didn't have to have a roommate. I was in heaven. I could see the other girls in the hall whenever I wanted (and usually did get a fair bit of socializing done), but I could also close my door when I felt like being alone. It was awesome. I've started to feel the same way about Australia. I have my life here, and I am safe from any hazards I may have had in America. I feel safe and at peace.
7. The stars. I can see the southern cross and the milky way!

Among all these things, I am so very thankful for my husband of three and a half years, too. He is so kind and caring, so different from anyone I've ever met. We have grown so much closer through this experience, too. He is amazing. Love you, Daniel.

Whether we're here for the rest of our lives or only for a time longer, I will forever be grateful for the time I've spent here and the patience that my Aussie friends and family have had while I've whinged (whined) about my homesickness.

Your trooper,

Healthy habits

2011-09-29T09:20:00.000+10:00

Okay, before I say anything else I want to let you all know that I organized my bedroom closet, the monster of all organizing projects, and it looks awesome! I took before and after photos, but I'm having technical difficulties, so be looking out for that post in the next few days.

I want to share a few fitness/getting in shape tools I've been using in the past two weeks. First, I received the Kinect game Your Fitness Evolved for my birthday, and I absolutely love it! It's exactly what I wanted. Here's a video to show you what it's like:

I get bored with exercise easily, so this is a way that I can mix it up each time if I want. I have tried almost everything on the game now, and so far my favorite is the cardio kick boxing.

Also, I use sparkpeople a lot. I think I talked some about sparkpeople briefly, but it's a wonderful tool. It's free and allows you to track nutrition, fitness, weight, and goals. It even comes up with meal plans, complete with a grocery list, if you desire. I don't go with this option because of my gluten intolerance. It often has wholegrain bread or oatmeal as part of the plan, and I can't eat that. It's a wonderful option, though. Easier for people on the go that don't have time to sit down and plan their meals. Here's my sparkpage.

So far I've lost 1.2 lbs. I'm not as concerned about the weight as I am about how my body is responding to my program. I am starting to be able to tell that I'm consistently working out. My tummy is getting flatter (HALLELUJAH!) and I'm just starting to really like what I see in the mirror. So, the minuscule amount of pounds lost doesn't bother me.

What do you do to stay healthy?

Have a great week!

Organisation and baby feet

2011-09-12T20:55:00.002+10:00

I don't know about some of you other bloggers, but I always feel like I must have a theme for each blog: A lesson or a provoking thought, or a fun idea. However, since I haven't come up with anything new in that regard lately, I'm just going to write. Okay? Okay.

I realised something the other night. I used to be someone that organised everything. I've tried to be different than that over the last few years, though, in an attempt to scale back and relax a bit (which has been a really good experience for me). However, now that we finally have a home that we want to settle into (which hasn't happened in our 3 years of marriage until now), I realise that I like organisation. And nothing is organised. Yet. So, I have started asking my super organised friends for advice and thinking about where to start in the whole process. I am really looking forward to getting the house in order and knowing how much better it will feel to both Daniel and myself when it's all finished. I thought about taking before and after photos and sharing some of what I've done along the way. Would that be of interest to any of you?

Oh, Friends, we can believe in His promises. Did you know that? I thought I did, but He has shown me in a whole new way that He can be trusted, that He wants me in His kingdom, and that He wants me to share with Him and not hide (or attempt to hide--we can't really hide from Him, you know). And, looking back over the past few years, from when I first realised that I was verbally/emotionally abused, I can see how the Lord has gently, sweetly, patiently broken down my walls. He has patiently changed my view on Him as my Father and shown me that He has been my perfect Father. He has graciously shown me that He will not give up on me, that He will provide for our needs, and now that He can be trusted. We can trust in His intentions toward us. He wants good for us.

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,' declares the LORD, 'and will bring you back from captivity.'"

--Jeremiah 29:11-14b

Found on Pinterest (CiciAbsolutely white)

Oh yes, I have to share with you how much Pinterest has become an obsessive distraction for me. A few weeks ago, I read two different blogs in the same week that talked about how awesome Pinterest is, and I thought...huh...maybe I'll try it. I fell in love. Christmas ideas, recipes, crafts, beautiful photos, comics, outfits--you name it, you can probably find it on pinterest. The only thing I will say is that some people do not follow the no nudity rule and post things that end up on the discussions board. I often just look away and report it asap, but I will caution you all to be careful of that. I find it repulsive and frustrating, but I try to look at the positive. Like this cute photo. Who doesn't love baby feet? Baby feet make my heart sigh and want to squeal. Oh, babies.

And I'll leave it on that beautifully sweet note.

Love,

Worship

2011-08-25T11:37:00.000+10:00

Image via Wikipedia

Lately, God has drawn me to His side and reminded me that my time with Him is so important and keeps me going. Spending time in worship with Him brings peace to my anxious heart, contentment, and a true joy and gratefulness. I've been doing a couple of new things this week that have especially helped.

Meditation has always made me nervous. It's so important to stand guard over what we open our hearts and bodies to, and many meditations that say "let in the positive energies" or "let all your thoughts go" are dangerous, in my opinion. However, I have read many studies speaking of the benefits that meditation has, particularly on stressed individuals. Many days I wake up and feel okay, and then a few hours into the day I start to feel anxious--so anxious that I become paralyzed with fear. So, a few days ago, I knew I had to do something differently. I googled "Christian meditation" just to see what I could find, and I found a website with meditations that are mainly Scripture. I'm addicted!

I also find, in my quiet times with Jesus, that having a Christian study book helps. I'm currently reading "Bad Girls of the Bible" and going through the workbook, and I absolutely love it. Here's the blurb (info on the back cover):

"For ten years I studied bunches of biblical role models and finally realized what we had in common: Zip.
"Sarah was so faithful. Esther was so courageous. Mary was so innocent. I was so none-of-the-above.
"Then I hapened upon Jezebel, and something inside me clicked. I identified with her pushy personality, I understood her need for control, I empathized with her angry outbursts, and I began to wonder...
"Could those Bad Girls from the past teach us how to be Good Girls in the present? I'm here to tell you--yes! Whether they were Bad to the Bone, Bad for a Moment, or Bad for a Season but not Forever, these infamous sisters show us how not to handle the challenges of life.
"We first meet them in a contemporary, fictional story (Delilah becomes a hairdresser named Lila from Dallas!), followed by a zippy, verse-by-verse review. Of course, I've included plenty of fun, 'Lizzie style' commentary to keep readers smiling, and each chapter includes four life-changing lessons well worth remembering.
"Bad Girls of the Bible is for all women--from Former Bad Girls who need to be reminded we're truly forgiven to Veteran Good Girls who long to understand those still searching for answers.
"This is the place, sisters. Grab a veil and dive in!"

I can tell you, each chapter I've read has left me laughing aloud, crying some, and really digging into the meat of God's Word. In many ways, it's changed my life. I highly recommend this study.

Another important part of worship for me? Definitely music. Sometimes I play it softly in the background while I journal or study. Other times, I play it specifically to sing along, and still other times I march into the piano room and play and sing my little heart out. Music is such an important gift that God has given us, and it's an excellent way to connect with Him and express ourselves to Him. Today, I found some worship videos on youtube, and I've put together a playlist for all of you, just to get you started. These are some of my favorite worship songs that I thoroughly enjoy singing to the Lord. Click here.

There are a few other things that are special to me in my worship time, but I'm going to make a second post soon to split it up a bit. Let me know if you have any other ideas or things that you do in creative worship to Jesus.

Radically His,

How it all turned out.

2011-08-01T13:56:00.000+10:00

Last week, I set some weekly goals. They were as follows:

Exercise for 6 days out of the week.
Try a new hairstyle.
Try one skin care recipe.

I was able to exercise for 5 out of the 6 days and actually enjoyed it (although core exercises were so difficult)! My hair style turned out cute! I got the idea from a picture I saw on craftgawker. I didn't do exactly the same thing as Katie, the girl from the photo, but I still like the way it turned out.

Also, I've been reading passionate homemaking and am currently obsessed with this blog. Anyway, she talks about using coconut oil for a lot of different things, and one of the things she uses it as is a moisturizer. So, I've been trying that out for my skin care recipe. So far I love it. I was a little leery of trying an oil on my blemish prone face, but so far it hasn't caused any blemishes.

Then, this morning, I was feeling particularly adventurous and tried one of the skin care recipes from the book I told you about last week. It worked absolutely beautifully! I was so impressed! All it took was some aspirin and some lime juice and I had a scrub very similar to the Mary Kay Microdermabrasion that I used to use. I highly recommend trying some homemade recipes. It costs pennies and you'll know exactly what ingredients are in it with out having to pick apart and google each ingredient.

Hope you all have a lovely week!

Weekly goals

2011-07-25T10:32:00.001+10:00

Goals for this week:

Exercise/strength training for 6 days out of this week. I have to take the times I feel motivated and run with them (literally).

Try a new hairstyle.

I don't know that I could get my hair to this point, but I love these ideas!

Try one skin care recipe. I bought this online book that has hundreds of recipes for skin care. It was only $20, and I thought...if it works, then that would be awesome! Cheaper and easier to know whether the products are soy/gluten free because I'm making them that way.

I'll let you know how I go.

Have a great week,

Fear(less)

2011-07-21T09:23:00.000+10:00

Fear. I've temporarily lost a student this week...I had a terrible lesson with a new student this week...and fear the crumbling of my business, of me.

This time in my life has been the hardest journey. My family that I grew up with has crumbled, particularly in the past year. We are slowly building up a new version of what family looks like, but the journey is long and full of pain and toils. Add this process to starting a new business and my husband changing jobs, and you have a whole lot of exhaustion on your hands. I keep feeling like my breaking point is going to come...and then I'll crumble.

I read this post yesterday and cried.

And then I read this and watched the video and laughed hysterically.

Sometimes all we can do is pick ourselves back up, brush the dirt off our knees, and keep going...knowing and having faith that we won't crumble and even if we do, everything is going to be okay.

Simple Delights

2011-07-08T09:50:00.000+10:00

Image via Wikipedia

First, I'd like to say welcome to any new followers. I'm glad you're here and hope you enjoy my musings.

I finally finished the Chronicles of Narnia. It was a long journey, but one I'm certainly glad I experienced. I found some of the books in the series to be more slow going and a bit harder to enjoy. My favourite character, of course, was Lucy. Her delight in simplicity and eagerness to please Aslan inspired me and made me feel as if I'd have a kindred spirit in her if she were real.

So, as of late, I've been reading Pride and Prejudice. I've taken it in slowly, but I am now to a part in the story where I don't want to put the book down! Too many unanswered questions. I am thoroughly enjoying this read. I have often found watching movies created from Jane Austen's novels are perfect for those times that I just need time to myself with a cup of tea and scones. They're simple and beautiful, and I'm feeling the same way about reading her novels. Plus, I just read in a magazine yesterday that doing things you love is an instant stress reliever. One of my life goals is to visit Jane Austen's house.

Another simple delight I love? Crochet. I know I've spoken a bit of crochet in the past, and I must say, I'm addicted. I love being able to do something with my hands that creates something beautiful and practical. I love the fact that many of the patterns (at least the ones I use) allow me to focus on something else while doing something with my hands, because they're not so detailed that I have to concentrate on what I'm doing. Must post photos of some of my crochet projects soon. Consider it on my to-do list.

What are your simple delights?

Free to dance

2011-06-30T09:28:00.000+10:00

I'm feeling the urge to write again, which is a wonderful event that I've been waiting on in the past couple of months.

Facebook had me turned off to the internet for awhile...someone took something I did way out of line and voila--facebook is stupid and tainted and I don't want them reading about what I'm up to on my blog, etc. So, I've been hiding.

Sometimes hiding is a good thing. We need to keep our distance and set up healthy boundaries with people in our lives that abuse us. Throughout this whole process, I've prayed about what to do and how to handle this with dignity and grace. God lead me to read through 1 and 2 Samuel, and when I did, He kept showing me something: When Saul attacked David, David ran. He didn't sit around and wonder what Saul was going to do next or blame himself for the attack. He ran. He hid. He protected himself.

I'm not saying that every time someone hurts you, this should be the reaction. I am saying, however, that in situations of abuse, the best thing to do is run. Abusive situations, even emotional abuse, are evil. They are not for your good, and God does not expect us to sit around wondering what the abuser is going to say or do next. So, I ran. And I hid.

I won't be hiding on the internet anymore. I come with a new confidence in the fact that I am a grown woman standing on my own two feet with a husband who loves me and my own family unit now. I come with the confidence in knowing that it is my job to protect my family unit, and I come knowing that just because someone says that something is my fault or that I did something wrong doesn't mean that I did. I come knowing that I have the right to set boundaries and expect those boundaries to be respected.

I'm in self-discovery mode. This experience has made me realise a few things about the people in my life and what they were to me growing up. I have started re-reading my journals again with this new perspective. I see what I was like as a child and what the people around me were telling me about who I was. I grew up feeling ashamed of who I was, what I liked, what I wanted to do and be and accomplish. I grew up blaming myself if someone hurt me. I grew up feeling ugly, weird, ashamed. My whole life, I have let people treat me that way.

All I have left to say is, praise God for being my Father throughout my life and showing me that they were wrong. I have nothing to be ashamed of. It's okay for me to like the color pink. It's okay for me to wear my hair in pigtails, no matter what age I am. I don't have to brush my hair 100's of times before I go to bed just to make it look good. I can enjoy eating healthy and singing in the shower and cross stitching. I am allowed, and I'm not stupid for enjoying these things.

You're Free to Dance
Forget about your two left feet
Free to sing
Even joyful noise is music to Me
Free to love
For I've give you My love and it's made you free.
I have set you free.

So be it

2011-06-08T08:58:00.000+10:00

A cross stitch I made for my kitchen

Throughout my life, I've endured the shameless teasing of friends and family that I am an old lady even at my tender age. This might be due to the fact that I began cross-stitching at the age of 8 and have always enjoyed an early bedtime. I think the past few years have taken my old ladiness over the top, though. I've learned to crochet (so fun and addicting), started drinking a lot more tea, and wearing a robe and slippers around the house.

You know what I've decided? The reason old ladies do all these things is because they're finally at the age where they decide they don't care what anyone thinks and embrace the fun and comforting things in life. They know how to live. So, if I'm being compared to an old lady, that, to me, just means that I'm cozy, well rested, and making a lot of cool things.

Do you have any old lady (or old man) habits or hobbies? I want to hear about them!

Recent news

2011-05-15T20:11:00.000+10:00

Image by Gattou - Away behind... via Flickr

Just cause it made me smile.

You caught me. I've been absent for quite some time from this blog (okay, only two weeks, but that's, like, two years in blogworld). I'm in a cocoon...a cocoon of processing, digging, and healing. It's hard work and it's not fun, but I know the end result will be worth it.

I don't know how consistent of a blogger I'll be in the coming months. I've decided to go a little easier on myself and not set a bunch of goals, but take each day at a time and do the work that is set before me for that day.

I have been accumulating some Friday Fun things to share with you, which I plan on doing this week, but it might be on a day other than Friday because...Friday...I'll be at the zoo...with...

MY BROOOOTTTHHHHHEEEEER!!!!!! I can hardly contain my excitement over the fact that a member of my family is visiting me all the way over here...and the fact that we get along really well and he and Daniel are buddies. It's going to be good. I can't wait.

Until then, though, I keep getting sick. So, I'll continue to hydrate with water and o.j. and eat crystallized ginger ('cause everything else doesn't taste right) and know that in order for me to really truly finally get the rest of my hormone problems under control, I need to go through the final step of consistently eating right and consistently exercising (something I have always struggled with. Food is so good. And exercising feels like so much effort). Anyway, I'm approaching this only for health reasons and not because I want to lose weight or look different. I'm using Spark People as a tool for recipes and motivation, but I'm not going to set 10,000 goals. I'm setting one goal: to exercise every day. That's it. I will build from there. One step at a time.

What have y'all been up to? What do you do when you're in a cocoon of painful growth?

Sail away...

2011-05-03T20:34:00.001+10:00

Image by TomRaven via Flickr

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream.
~Mark Twain

Friday Fun

2011-04-29T19:58:00.000+10:00

Hello everyone!

I swooned this week as I looked back on a few epbot posts and was lead to ScriptShadow. The post I stumbled upon was for my favourite trilogy: BACK TO THE FUTURE! ScriptShadow found information on an alternative script for Back to the Future II. It's a fascinating read, but I have to say, I'm very glad with the way the movie ended up.

Via Twitchy on Ravelry

With winter just around the corner here in Australia, I've been curbing my appetite to crochet by making myself some cute winter things. I've seen many pictures for cowls and knew I wanted to make myself one and see if I liked it. Well, I finished my first one this week! I love it. It's so much easier to deal with than a scarf, because you put it on and don't have to keep readjusting it. Plus, it's cozier but doesn't get that hot itchy feeling that I sometimes get with scarves. I highly recommend cowls!

One more thing: My friend Leah, who I keep doting on in this blog (because she's awesome, of course) was featured in the Knoxville Sentinal for her new business, Creme Hurray. Read the article here.

I hope you all have a lovely weekend! I'll be working through it, but I'm looking forward to having a break on Monday (public holiday here in Australia).

Happy Weekending!

Samantha

Sunset Thunderstorm

2011-04-27T20:58:00.001+10:00

Image by TheFella via Flickr

The caption in this picture is "Sunset Thunderstorm over London." I instantly feel the familiarity and connection, as if I'm gazing upon the face of a friend.

I have faced many hard times in my life, even at my tender age. I find each difficulty bittersweet, feeling the rain and hearing the thunder of the heartbreak, yet seeing the sunset of how God has protected me, how He has blessed me, how He loves me.

My life in Australia is sweet, and I am immensely blessed. It is my cushion of protection, my cocoon from the chaos of family situations which I tend to get too involved in. I feel responsible, I feel that I need to fix it...but in Australia, I simply can't. I feel this is a gift. God has given me the gift of being here so that I can focus on Him and focus on healing, as I've written about in the past year. I am so thankful for that. It is so special to me that He knew I needed to be shielded from "home" and stand on my own two feet. I am establishing my own home with my new family (my husband of nearly 3 years) and learning who I am, what my boundaries are, what I can and cannot handle. I feel the Lord has brought me into the threshold of womanhood, and I embrace my role as an adult woman. He has shown me how to be a woman and how to do it with dignity and strength.

"Strength and dignity are her clothing,
And she smiles at the future."
--Proverbs 31:25

I see the sunset. My heart still breaks, and I feel the drizzle, but the sun is out.

Good Friday Fun

2011-04-22T15:15:00.001+10:00

I am anticipating this weekend to be full of relaxation and leisure. Having nearly a week off for Easter (and ANZAC day) is wonderful.

via WhatMegansMaking

This Easter season, I've been seeing ads for Reese's peanut butter eggs, available in America but not in Australia. When something like this is unavailable, I have to find alternatives i.e. make it myself or find a store that sells something similar. Well, to my delight and excitement, What Megan's Making had a recipe posted for a homemade version of Reese's Easter eggs! Not only that, but many of the commenters say they're actually better than regular Reese's! Woohoo!

You know what else I love about Easter? Dyeing easter eggs. I haven't seen any dyeing kits like we have in the US, but I did find instructions for this project on Family Spice using products that you'll find in your pantry. For instructions, click here.

via Martha Stewart (on Omiyage)

And, to end the Easter projects, Omiyage posted 5 Easter projects that look perfect for decorating the house or simply having fun with the kids.

Via OhTheLovelyThings

And now, for two random and unrelated Funsies. One of my friends wanted to get a glow in the dark tattoo that only shows in blacklights. I think that's a sad thing: to go through the planning and pain of a tattoo and not get one. I do, however, like the way tattoos look, if done tastefully. I haven't gotten any tattoos, because...well, they're permanent. And I'm not sure that there's anything that I want on my body until I'm old and wrinkly (which will look different when my skin starts to sag anyway). All that to say, Oh the Lovely Things gave instructions on making temporary tattoos this week with pictures of some sweet bird tats.

Via Huffington Post

And, one more thing: We all have insecurities. We all have people and places that haven't helped with those insecurities. Many people blame the subliminal messaging of our culture, and I do think this carries a lot of weight. My friend, Leah (remember, Creme Hurray?) posted this article on her facebook by Huffington Post about Barbie and what she would really look like if real. The writer, Galia Slayen, shares a little of her personal struggle with eating disorders and the reason she built the life size Barbie. Very interesting article. Very worth the read.

I hope you all have a wonderful, relaxing Easter weekend filled with chocolate peanut butter Easter eggs!

Update: Made the chocolate peanut butter easter eggs for the church potluck, and they were all gone before dessert was officially served! I declare them a crowd pleaser!

Simplicity

2011-04-20T17:01:00.000+10:00

Toward the end of my high school career, my piano teacher and I became close enough that we could share ideas with each other. One day she showed me a book of a man that had decided to simplify his life by quitting his job, selling all he owned, buying a bike and a camera and going around taking photos all day long. She longed to simplify her life in the same way.

Many times, as my life has felt busy and complicated, I have thought back to that man that takes pictures. I've thought how blissful that sounds--No job, no deadlines; just a bike, the sunshine and beautiful photos to testify of creation.

Then, I realised, some days it will rain. On those rainy days, life will still be a little more complicated than we'd like. Not only that, but relationships are complicated. We can't live alone. God created us to be in fellowship and unity with other people, and so relationships interfere with our simplistic goals.

As wonderful and important as simplifying our lives is, I realise that complete simplification isn't possible. What I am glad about is the Guide, the Counselor, that I have to help me with the complications.

Friday Fun!

2011-04-15T12:55:00.000+10:00

Oh, this week has just been so much better. God is so good and has given me just what I needed.

As I perused the web in the last few days, I stumbled across RadMegan's blog. She has a lot of fun things on there, but the first one that caught my eye (of course) was the bathtime tea bag.

via RadMegan

Brilliant! I love finding stress relievers like this (although I don't actually have a bathtub at the moment--only a shower. But still, it's an idea worth sharing). If any of you try it, let me know what you thought.

Another thing she had that makes me feel we would be b.f.f.'s is a post all about bubbles. There's nothing I love more than to get in touch with my inner child, and blowing bubbles is a delightful way to do so.

via RadMegan

Speaking of getting in touch with my inner child, I bought a colouring book yesterday. It's a Disney Princess "activity book," and I'm colouring Ariel's dress green instead of pink because I think green goes better with red hair.

On a completely different note, something I've learned since moving to Australia is that happiness is a mindset. We have to set our minds to have a good attitude and embrace the experiences we are having in each stage of life. This week, I learned to let go a little more and give things to God. Beth Moore said on her twitter this week, "God is not a big us. If a person has become a stumbling block, step over it & get 2 God. Don't wait 2 figure it all out. It's His.Not ours." Even in our relationships, we can let go, give it to Him, and allow Him to work it out. How simple is that? Why do we complicate things so much? The Lord makes it so easy. Anyway, all that to say, I saw this embroidery on beyondbeyond and had to share. Obviously, part of my happy place is colouring and blowing bubbles, but here are a few other things that make me happy:
1. Chocolate chip cookies.
2. Sitting outside on my porch and just breathing in. The outdoors smell so good!
3. Listening to music that reminds me of a happy time in my life.
4. Reading in bed.
5. Drinking tea (surprise).
6. Watching Disney movies or gilmore girls.
7. Smiling at someone and having them smile back. Especially cute old ladies!
8. Cooking for people and having them request the meal later (same is true of tea or baked goods).
9. Playing piano.
10. Seeing butterflies right outside the window (especially blue ones! I love Australia).

What helps you be in your "happy place?"

Oh, one more thing. My friend, Leah, from Creme Hurray (remember the giveaway I did? She was the baker) is working on getting to the farmers market.

So far, her goal has had outstanding results! Her original need was $800 to cover what she needed. She then raised that to $1000, which has just been reached! However, I'm sure she would be able to use any extra support to fund her growing bakery. Also, if you live in the Knoxville area, go to the Farmer's market and buy some goodies! I have been the recipient of her baked goods on several occasions and can tell you that you will not be sorry. Worth every penny.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

I am

2011-04-11T21:45:00.000+10:00

Samantha means, "She who listens," and I believe this is part of my purpose on this earth. Few things delight me more than listening to what someone's going through--crying with them, laughing with them--whatever they need.

"Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." Romans 12:15

My name can also translate "listener of God." My whole life, God has drawn me to Him, and I feel His call on my life. I have struggled with Him, limping away and finally willing to do what He asks. I have stubbornly told Him what I'm going to do--and learned the hard way that He is too powerful--and dangerous--to disrespect. In the end, though...

"I love the LORD, because He hears

My voice and my supplications.

Because He has inclined His ear to me,

Therefore I shall call upon Him as long as I live."

Psalm 116:1-2

I listen to Him because He listens to me. He cares about me. He understands me. He fills the voids that my loved ones have left. He's the ultimate Defender, the Protector, and the ultimate Optimist. He is the Counselor. He is.

Friday (not so) fun

2011-04-08T19:33:00.000+10:00

The last few days have been awful. Thus, not as much joyful internet browsing. So, I have only a couple of things to share with you today.

This post by Baby Making Becky is awesome. We should rejoice in our bodies. They are amazing.

by Annie Leibovitz

AnnaLikes posted a few photographs that Disney Parks have released. Beautifully done. Find the post here.

This post by Mikaela at One Bright Corner connected with a deep longing in my soul to leave a legacy.

I'm not necessarily a fan of Martha Stewart, but what her design team is doing with their magazine on the ipad is absolutely incredible. I read about it at Benign Objects and then watched the video. Watch the video. It's impressive.

That's all I have this week. I hope you've had a lovely week.

I'm a Stylish Blogger

2011-04-06T08:28:00.000+10:00

One Bright Corner tagged me with the Stylish Blogger award over the weekend! I feel honored to have received this from them. As part of receiving this award, I am charged with sharing seven random and little known facts about myself.

I taught myself how to cook. My parents were very busy as I was growing up, so many times I made my own dinner. After getting married, being able to cook delicious, semi-healthy food for me and my husband has been important and a blessing.
I have more tennis shoes in my wardrobe than anything else, but I mostly wear sandals (a.k.a. flip flops or "thongs" as they call them in Australia).
I enjoy hanging my clothes on the line. Something about the old fashioned act of doing it myself. I suppose it makes me feel connected to my heritage, in a sense. Plus, sun dried clothes are best.
I'm as messy as my husband. (When I told him this was part of my post, he said "pssh, more messy." I told him that may be, but I clean more often. We're in love).
I'm a reality t.v. junkie. I mean, did you see this season's Bachelor? Go Emily! Southern Belles unite!
I hate letting my nails grow out. This comes from years of piano lessons.
I feel so much better after an eyebrow wax. Instant beauty!

I now tag these blogs with this award:

Hilary from Feeling Beachie

Lee from Fit Foodie Finds

Claire from BeakTweets

I would love to hear from all of you, too! What are your random facts?

Friday Fun!

2011-04-01T10:02:00.002+10:00

Since last week was semi Disney themed, I have to start with this drawing/design by ana carmichael.

via AnaCarmichael

It immediately reminded me of Fantasia. My favourite part of that movie--when the hippo danced ballet with the crocodile. Ana's blog is adorable and always has cute drawings like this on it.

Another thing I stumbled upon this week was on AnnaLikes. She featured a video on the Escape Machine.

Escape Machines - Surprise from The Cool Hunter on Vimeo.

I love the way the lady reacts! She's so happy! Anna's blog is full of visual art and designs. Entertaining and fun.

And, in honour of an announcement I have to make, this Friday Fun will take a turn for tea. I perused craftgawker early this week and saw these rings:

via Gymbohannah

Want. Now. Anyway, I clicked on the image which took me to The SoHo with a few photos of tea related things. If you read on, she gives a link to PInterest page on tea time, full of teatime essentials!

via whatnikkimade

via MrPS

via MamaGrubbs

Beautiful!

via AnnWood

Okay, here's one I've been holding for a few weeks, waiting for the perfect time to share it with you.

These paper mache teacups were featured by Ann Wood. She gives the instructions, the pattern--everything you need to know to make these amazing teacups. They would make incredible favours, whether for a wedding or baby shower. She mentions they would also make fantastic name placements. So clever.

If you're sitting down for a cup of tea and want something to eat, these 20 minute vanilla cupcakes are to die for.

via theFamilyKitchen

I whipped these up one night on a whim (gluten free version, of course) and Daniel and I ate so many...I don't even want to tell you how many. They're delicious.

Now, for my announcement (drum roll, please). I will be managing the Tea Centre's blog and facebook from now on! The blog will involve general information on tea, recipes using tea, and specials happening in store. I'm excited about writing for them and getting a chance to flex my muscles in a different writing style. I will still thoroughly enjoy writing on Tea & Ink, and I still hope to be a sponsored blog within the next few months. Lots of exciting things happening!

I hope you all have a great weekend!

None of the aforementioned information is an april fools' joke. I repeat. None of the aforementioned information is an april fools' joke.

Reading

2011-03-27T19:54:00.000+10:00

Cover of The Horse and His Boy (Narnia)

This year, I have felt a special pull toward book stores. Reading has taken on a whole new meaning to me now that I aspire to write for a living. I've thoroughly enjoyed each book I've read this year for the simple fact that I admire the writing styles. Making the decision to write for a living has opened up a whole new mindset for me, especially while reading.

A few weeks ago, on a date with my husband to Mary Ryan's Bookstore (amazing little store, by the way) I found The Chronicles of Narnia for $9.99. I couldn't resist. I hadn't read any of the chronicles, but I've always heard good things about them, so I knew the decision to buy the complete series (especially for $10) was a good one. Thus, I'm finishing "A Horse and His Boy" and looking forward to "Prince Caspian." After I finish this series, I plan to read some Jane Austen. I received her entire written works last Christmas from my second set of parents (in-laws) and look forward to enjoying each and every book she's written. Somewhere amongst the reading, I know I'll find inspiration to start writing some short stories (and maybe begin outlining a novel) again.

What have you been reading? Does reading inspire you to write, or do you read for the simple pleasure of escape?

Friday...er Saturday Fun!

2011-03-26T09:48:00.000+10:00

Thank you all for waiting patiently. I've never had any problems with Blogger before, and I'm hoping to not have any problems again. So, this weeks edition of Friday fun will start your weekend off right.

Those of you who know me know I'm obsessed with Gilmore Girls. I own all 7 seasons, quote it daily, and watch it on an ongoing basis. So, this week when I saw an interview with Emily Kuroda, a.k.a. Mrs. Kim (or Mama Kim as Lane and Rory like to call her), I knew I had to share it with all of you. I saw it on GilmoreNews' twitter. My favourite part of the interview (with out spoiling) is when Emily says "I love working with Keiko Agena. After 7 years, I didn't have to act. I was there for her first date, prom, marriage and motherhood. I was with her as she grew up. What a gift!" You can find the interview on myFanbase. Enjoy!

Another woman I am in love with, of course, is Paula Deen. She is spunky, hilarious, and Southern. What could be better than that? So, when slow cooker recipes were posted on her site this week, I swooned and knew you'd love to have them, too. Her recipes are simple and delicious (and Southern!). You can find them here.

I mentioned last week that I occasionally look at Spearmint Baby for fun. Well, this week, she posted the cutest girls' nursery I've ever laid my eyes on. Usually when she posts a nursery I think, "yeah, I like that," and make a mental note. Well, this time, I made a mental note, bookmarked it and decided to save it in Friday Fun as well so that I would be able to find it whenever the time comes. Here are some pictures:

via JustDesign

I love the grey and pink! And the futon for the mom or dad that's up for 3 a.m. feedings. And the butterflies! And the fact that the colours are reversed on the tree trunks from one wall to the other! And the poem above the crib!

via JusDesign

And I love the corner. The butterfly mobile. the sweet chair below it. Everything about this nursery I love.

I've often teased my husband that if we have a little girl, her whole room will be Little Mermaid inspired. Well, this brings me to my next obsession. This week, Epbot posted a video called "One Man Disney Movie" (which is brilliant. Go watch it now. I'll wait). So, after watching that, I felt the need to peruse Youtube and find more Disney videos. Well, naturally, when I saw the video entitled "Confessions of a Disney employee," I had to watch it. It's a long video, but hysterical and totally worth watching.

I love the stick figures! And the ending. Priceless.

Then, I found this video:

There's speculation that it's fake, but I don't care. Regardless of whether it's real or fake, Disney is brilliant and knows how to put on a production.

What a great way to end our "Friday" Fun for this week. I love happy endings. I hope you all have a beautiful, fun, inspiring weekend.

Love,

Your wannabe Lorelai, Paula, Ariel

My top 10: Things I love about Australia

2011-03-22T18:55:00.000+10:00

Today I'm feeling a little homesick. After living in Australia for a year and a half, I'm happy to say my bouts of homesickness come around far less often than the first year held. Usually, I like to wallow in the feeling a bit and think about all the things I miss. Instead, I thought I'd take a different approach this time. Here are the top ten things I love about Australia:
1. Wildlife. What's not to love? I have wild, colourful parrots flying around my house. Blue butterflies. Kangaroos. Koalas. All awesome things that give me the greatest delight.

2. Income. Although the cost of living is higher, and the taxes are higher, the income is significantly higher as well. Not only that, but the older you get, the more per hour you get paid. How great is that?

3. Skate parks in nearly every town. I may not be coordinated enough to use them, but that doesn't stop me from loving this fact.

4. Meat pies. Sausage Rolls. Chocolate Caramel Slices. A.K.A. the baking is incredible. Bakeries are more frequently used and far more popular here than in any place I've lived in America. In the tiny town that I live in there are 3 bakeries in a half mile radius. Incredible. (Of course, now that I'm eating gluten free, I have to buy the gluten free bakeries frozen goods, but they are lovely and I don't feel at all deprived).

5. The amount of coconut used in desserts. I like coconut. Plus, it's not sweetened here, so it's a nice addition to crusts.

6. The proximity of the mountains to the beach. Two of my favourite things, close to each other. Bliss.

7. The opportunity for small business owners. As much as I love Wal Mart and wish (oh how I WISH) Australia would open it's loving arms to the amazing things that it offers, I do love the fact that small businesses have so much opportunity here.

8. The passion that people have about what they think. No matter who you're talking to, everyone has an opinion, and they will stick to it. I respect that. I like that.

9. The fact that when I travel somewhere, I've never been there. I was bitten by the travel bug long ago. I love going to new places and seeing new things.

10. Cadbury Chocolate. That's right. Cadbury deserves a number of it's own. In America, you can only get Cadbury chocolate once a year: At Easter. I love the fact that I can get many varieties of Cadbury chocolate any time I want. Lovely.

What do you love about where you live?

When you get homesick, what do you do to get over it?

Friday Fun!

2011-03-18T11:06:00.001+10:00

This week, I would like to introduce an entry that I will now be doing weekly called "Friday Fun."

Friday Fun is a weekly entry including all the interesting and fun things I've seen on the internet each week. So excited! If you're ready, lets dive right in.

I'll first start out by sharing something that made me laugh. This photo session, which includes photos like this:

I saw this link on the Pioneer Woman's twitter. Hilarious!

Next up, some nerdiness. Some of you may know that one of my hidden talents is cross-stitching. Well, check out this beauty!

This cross stitching was featured on Green Eyed Monster. I love that she used something modern and nerdy in a timeless craft.

And, speaking of robots:

How cute is this cake topper?! I tell you, if I could plan my wedding again, it would be so much more whimsical. :) This robot cake topper was featured on Emmaline Bride along with many other cute robot cake toppers. She even had one of the tin man and his true love! So clever!

My other crafting addiction (definitely more of an addiction than cross-stitch) is crocheting. I peruse craftgawker on a daily basis for patterns and ideas for crochet, and this week, I stumbled upon this adorable stuffed animal that I couldn't resist:

*Swoon.* So. Cute. This pattern came from Lynne's Pattern Parlour and is available for purchase on her etsy.

I am a sucker for a good baby blog. I often read spearmint baby for fun, and this week she featured a Pirate Birthday party for girls!!! My birthday is on National Talk Like a Pirate Day, so I was immediately hooked to this idea. Apparently, you can buy the birthday party pack from this etsy shop and go to town! How cute! I may not be 3 like the girl that had this birthday party, but my inner 3 year old is in love with this:

Now, I'll leave you with a video that the Blogger Team posted this week all about the updates that they'll be making in 2011. I'm excited about these changes and look forward to playing with the new settings. Here's the video:

I hope you have all had a lovely week and that your weekend brings you the relaxation and rejuvenation that you need.

The Forbidden Question

2011-03-16T19:39:00.001+10:00

At the beginning of the year, I decided to refrain from making resolutions about my weight and embrace myself just the way I am. I decided this year would be my time to heal.

One of the things I need healing from is the way people perceive me. Many times, people have asked me the forbidden question--a question that no one (man or woman) should ever ask a woman under any circumstance. These are some of the ways people have asked me:

"I have to ask--are you pregnant?" (You have to ask?!)

"No offense, but you look pregnant." (This was posted on one of my wedding photos).

The most recent happened when I was buying a Red Bull at a local grocer.
"I hope you don't mind the kick you'll get for drinking that."
"I don't know what you mean." I said.
*Grabs his own tummy*
I was so angry when I realised what he was saying that I didn't say anything else. Thank the Lord, by then I had already paid and didn't need to do anything but walk out (and then went to my amazing hair dresser who let me vent to her and we had a good, healing laugh about it all).

I've written in the past about my PCOS. PCOS affects my life in many ways. The way I look is just one of those ways. It causes my body to translate stress in a different way than a normal body and only gain weight around my middle (making me look pregnant). I have tried to wear clothing that covers up my pudgy middle (listening to Stacy and Clinton's advice on What Not To Wear), but usually the days I do so, someone asks me the forbidden question.

But that's not even the point. WHY would anyone decide that asking that question or saying that to someone is appropriate? Why wouldn't they think to themselves how incredibly RUDE that question is? Being on the receiving end of that kind of criticism (or observation) is heartbreaking.

Well, this year, I'm embracing it. I have PCOS. I have it under control as much as I can. That can't change. I am learning to change my habits with anxiety.

So, here I am (with my adorable hubby), looking like myself and knowing that the pain I've experienced through my appearance will hopefully be healing for women who have experienced or are experiencing similar things.

Healing daily,

Samantha

I'm writing this piece in collaboration with BlogHer's Own Your Beauty campaign.

Improv everywhere resurrects King Philip IV!

2011-03-10T12:08:00.001+10:00

I saw this video on Color Me Katie's blog. It brightened my day, and I hope it will do the same for you.

To my dear friend.

2011-03-07T21:27:00.000+10:00

I want to take a moment to congratulate my dear friend, Jessie, for her recent engagement to her boyfriend of 5 years, Gabe.

I met Jessie at a summer camp that we both worked at in the summer of 2006. She had attended this camp from a young age, so she knew everything there was to know about it. I, on the other hand, knew nothing about this camp and was a "newb" in every way. The first week of counselor training was spent in cabins with all the other counselors. Well, lets just say that when Jessie and I crossed paths, we were in a big group and I was...cranky. Little did either of us know that we'd soon be roommates--bunkmates, even. She found out before me (she had connections) and didn't know what to think. Thank God that when we did start rooming together, we clicked immediately and got along extremely well. She's been my best friend ever since, even with the thousands of miles distance and my living in another country.

Engagement is such a special time in life. When I was engaged, I remember knowing that I had to cherish the time I had as an engaged woman. I knew it was the only time in my life that I'd ever be under the title of "engaged." I knew that, for the rest of my life, for better or worse, I wouldn't be alone again. I truly feel that God just put me in a "cocoon" during that time--to enjoy Him and to cherish my time to myself. I moved into a room by myself, decorated it how I wanted, and enjoyed the peace.

For you, my dear Jessie, I wish this time to be a time of peace and tranquility. I pray that this time be a time of growth and the peaceful knowing that you are worth it. Love you, Friend.

News and Goals

2011-03-03T20:40:00.002+10:00

I bought a new tea pot today. Isn't it pretty? It's simple, but I fell in love with the colour and simple design. Plus, it matches my Alice in Wonderland tea cup and saucer quite well.

For the past few days, I have been particpating in the Right Brainers in Business Video Summit. I am incredibly impressed with what Jennifer Lee has to share about being a creative entrepreneur. Her guests are inspiring, her material is exciting, and best of all--it's free. Sign up here.

I woke up yesterday morning and went about checking my email, as usual. I received one from Mikaela at One Bright Corner. I won the giveaway! Not just any blog giveaway, but the prize is a new make over on my beloved blog. So get ready for some beautiful changes, my friends! What made this even more exciting is that I have some new goals that I think I'm ready to share with you.

Within the next few months, I will be posting more consistently and working hard to develop this blog. My goal is to gain more followers on Tea & Ink, but more importantly, to attract some sponsors. Yes, I've decided to make this a more permanent part of my life and to take it to a whole new level. Writing has become more and more of a passion for me, and my passion has developed through writing on this blog. I want to thank each and every one of you, again, for reading what I have to say and supporting my efforts by following. I hope you're as excited as I am about my new goals and that you will join "hands" with me and support me through this process of being a professional blogger and author.

P.S. If you'd like me to feature your blog in my links or in a post, please comment and let me know or contact me (there's a button to the right of the text that says "kontactr me").

Making a Gluten free Pasta white sauce

2011-02-27T21:24:00.002+10:00

For the past year or so, I have eaten gluten free. I decided to make this transition in my life because a naturopath suggested it for the numerous hormone problems I've had in the past. Well, after a few short weeks of eating this way, I decided to never look back. It helped immensely, to the point that a few pieces of bread were worth giving up. As I've let people know that I have this allergy, their response is usually utter shock. "I couldn't do that. I like insert gluten product here too much." I thought the same thing at first, but there is so much available to people who need to go gluten free now that I haven't felt deprived at all. Plus, if it fixes any health problems you're having, or just makes you feel a little more energetic, isn't it worth it? It most certainly is for me.

Anyway, I'd like to share with you one of the things I've learned to do in cooking to convert a recipe to gluten free. This recipe was taken from a cookbook my grandparents gave me for Christmas that their church made (church ladies can COOK, lemme tell you) and adapted for my allergy to gluten (i.e. using a different flour).

Here's the recipe:

1/2 cup butter

1/2 cup chopped onion

1/2 cup white wine (I didn't have any hanging around, so I used water. I think wine or apple juice would give it a better flavour).

1/4 cup lemon juice (I used a whole lemon)

1 cup flour

1 Tbs. garlic

3 eggs, beaten (I didn't have 3 eggs, so I used some leftover egg whites from a recipe I made a few days ago and one whole egg I had left).

1/4 cup Parmesan cheese

Now, to make this recipe gluten free, I used a gluten free flour (White wings brand). These are easily available in Australia and easy to use. I have only recently started experimenting a little with flours (other than corn flour) and find that an all-purpose mix works really well for the recipes I've tried so far (including baking). I use the same amount of gluten free flour as the recipe calls for, so in this case, 1 cup.

Instructions:

In frying pan, saute butter, onion, garlic, and white wine. Mix eggs, lemon juice and Parmesan and set aside. Mix 1 cup flour with 1 1/2 cups water. Add to sate mixture in pan. Thicken. Add eggs, lemon juice, and Parmesan. Stir and place on favourite precooked pasta.

I did as the instructions asked, but had to add a lot more water along the way to make sure it had a good consistency. I just added it until it looked like saucy goodness and not a blob of white. And, of course, for the pasta, I used gluten free rice pasta (which, by the way is superb. I can't tell a difference, and when I've had people over, they can't either--I don't usually tell them until later teehee). I put some tasty cheese on top, because I found it needed a little more salty flavour. Delicioso!

I would highly recommend going gluten free, even if only for a time to find out if you feel better or have an intolerance to it. Besides, you won't have to give up tea, and that's the most important thing.

Giveaway on One Bright Corner!

2011-02-22T12:09:00.000+10:00

One Bright Corner is a blog I frequent, and they have just turned two! To celebrate, these lovely twin blogger/musicians are hosting a giveaway. They are giving away a "Surprise Designal" by Ara from My Designer Girl which includes a new, custom-designed header, background paper, and installation--plus three to eight surprise extras of her choice. Her handiwork is on One Bright Corner as well as her blog.

That's not all, though! Mikaela and Lauren have tried their hand at jewellry design and have come up with two charms based off of their blog logo, and they are giving them away. So hurry on over to One Bright Corner! The giveaway entries end February 28 and they will announce the winners on March 1st. Good luck!

Thoughts on a sick day

2011-02-19T23:01:00.000+10:00

The last few days, I've been sick. This is what I've been reflecting on.

Changes

2011-02-16T22:24:00.000+10:00

Image via Wikipedia

I'm sipping some "ginger kiss" tea from the tea centre (because a 25% discount is where it's at). I've had one of those days where I don't quite feel all sick yet, but I can tell it's coming. My throat is hurting just a bit and my head is fuzzy just enough that I'm not completely unable to work and function normally just yet. I just have one more day to get through and then I can give into the sickness and fight it off with sleep and movies (because that's what sick days are made for).

Anyway, I wanted to introduce you to a few new features on my page and let you know what I'm hoping to change real soon. As you can see, at the top of the page, I've added a few other pages that you can click on for instant gratification. I have some of the short stories from my previous posts added to one page. I hope to continue adding to this page and finish the stories I've started. The other page I've added are some links to sites that I thoroughly enjoy, and I hope you will, too.

In the future, I will be adding an "about me" section that has more info about yours truly. I'm open to suggestions, if you have any (not only for the "about me" page, but for any other pages that you'd like to see me add).

I hope you're all having a lovely week!

Free associations

2011-02-15T11:50:00.000+10:00

Image by hz536n via Flickr

I did a free association exercise out of the Creative Journal Writing book yesterday that I thoroughly enjoyed. The outcome of my writing surprised me, in that it was more in depth and had more detail than I usually write. Here's what the book said about the exercise, and then I'd like to share some of what I wrote.

"Wherever you are, right now, let your eyes or attention fall on something outside yourself.
"It could be the sofa on which you are sitting. It could be a vase of flowers that a day ago were so fragrant and are now about ready to be thrown out. It could be the smell of dinner cooking. It could be the silence that you are suddently 'hearing.' It could be the roar of traffic, or the sound of someone talking on the phone in another room. It could be the toys that are littered across the floor. Or a story in the newspaper that you discarded this morning.
"Whatever feels promising or engages you, choose that, then pick up your pen, open your journal or notebook, and simply let yourself write for at least ten minutes using what's engaged you as your jumping-off point. If you go off at a tangent at once, that's fine. If you keep coming back to the vase of flowers and how your uncle grew the most fragrant roses you have ever smelt...that's also fine.
"The crucial thing is to keep writing for at least ten minutes, to incorporate your hesitations or obstructions in your actual writing...and to let your imagination and your senses off the leash..." (pp.23-24)

I set the timer for ten minutes and focused. This is what I wrote:

"As I sit in the cool of the evening, I hear a group of birds chirping. I wonder, to myself, if they're baby birds or not. I can just see them getting excited over the nourishment their mom has for them, eager to have their hunger fed once more. It's a wonderful thing to be nourished. To go to bed with a full and satisfied tummy. I know nourishment is more than just food. To be nourished, body and soul, is complete nourishment. I breathe in. The air is cool and refreshing. The sun is almost gone now, and the clouds are a deep grey."

This was only a small excerpt from what I wrote, but I found that focusing on "something outside myself" (i.e. the birds chirping and the cool night air) really created more detail for my writing.

Later, I read a bit more in the book, which suggested doing the same exercise except for focusing on a smell nearby (or, if there wasn't a distinct smell, to find one and write about it). I moved into the dining room where I often journal and sat by the Woodwick candle we have, set my timer, and wrote. This is another excerpt:

"There's a woodwick cancle we have that has a beachy scent. It brings me back to the breezy Vero Beach days. I would go to the beach when I needed to pray or relax. I would go to the beach and breathe in the scent of the salty air and sunscreen and immediately feel refreshed...Living in a beach town is fun, even if it is a retirement community. It's wonderful to be proud of where you're from. People all over the world know where Florida is, while seemingly confused if you mention any inland states. They all seem to light up with recognition at the value of the Sunshine State, as if it's the sister to Australia. It's wonderful..."

I think my favourite part of writing these things was realising that I am so proud of where I come from. I think the fact that I'm from Florida has given me a true appreciation of Australia, because, in a lot of ways, living in Florida prepared me for the casual culture that I live in now. Recognising this now gives me a renewed confidence in who I am and some of the heritage from which I come.

Before yesterday, I hadn't tried any free association exercises with my writing. I have to say, I highly recommend this exercise, because it does help develop your writing style and discover more about yourself.

Creative journaling and other books

2011-02-13T20:48:00.000+10:00

Cover via Amazon

I know a blog is a sort of journal, and I do get some of my sanity from typing out my thoughts and knowing that I have people out there that care enough to read it. I've found, though, that a lot of my anxiety is soothed when I sit down to write out by hand all my thoughts and feelings. My journal is a free place where I can completely say what I'm thinking with out worrying about anyone's feelings or judgements. It's very freeing to just say it and to have a safe space to say whatever "it" is at the time.

Well, a couple weeks ago, I was sharing what it meant to me to a girl at work. A few days later, she presented me with a book: Creative Jounal Writing by Stephanie Dowrick. I'm only about 20 pages into it, and I love it! Here are some quotes about journaling that I've found to be true and excellent:

"Journal writing is all about the process--not goals or outcome.
"It is freeing--not constraining.
"Journal writing is also where you can retire the inner critic or judge.
"How you write, what you write, matters only to you.
"You are writing to please no one but yourself.
"Celebrate!"

"You can become curious about a complex situation rather than feeling overwhelmed by it. You can find out what you really think and feel. You can find out what you want."

"Rushing matters less. Discovering becomes far more interesting."

What do you do to debrief and get rid of your anxiety?

I tend to read a few books at once, depending on the subjects and how heavy they are. I find with the creative journaling book that I'm enjoy savouring it slowly, deliciously. Then, I also am reading a novel, the Lace Reader by Brunonia Barry. Brunonia is an excellent writer, and I'm enjoying her psychological thriller style of plot. And, I have to confess, I'm reading a third book as well. This book I found out about while on my way to work one morning. I often listen to focus on the family broadcasts, especially when they have to do with marriage and strengthening marriage. Well, I listened on this day and found the topic to be something that I believe every woman would benefit from studying, no matter her place in life--respecting our husbands. The discussion was based off the book "For Women Only" by Shaunti Feldhahn, who was part of the discussion as well. I found it so fascinating and helpful that I went out and bought the book. It's one I have to read in small doses and process along the way, because it challenges me in ways that cause me to reflect on myself and make sure I'm treating Daniel the way he needs to be treated. Anyway, I would highly recommend this book.

What books are you currently reading?

Win win win!!!

2011-02-06T15:19:00.001+10:00

Image via Wikipedia

Hello to all my readers! Thank you so much for entering the giveaway in honor of my 100th post.

The winners of the drawing, chosen by Random.org, are...

(drumroll, please)....

Lainey said...

I'm planning on doing an over-nighter for the teen girls in my church and this is exactly what I'm going to talk about. The theme is Beautiful You! I love this entry!

The one place I would love to go is Chicago. My grandpa, Aunt Lynn, Uncle Lowell, and some cousins live there, and I haven't seen them since my wedding. I miss them greatly.

Miss and love you guys!

and....

The Devotea said...

Right now, I;'d head up The Daintree and check out to see if I could help out at the Daintree tea Plantation after the cyclone. Gotta support our local Aussie tea, which also happens to be delicious.

Congratulations to the winners! Please email me to claim your prizes!

Let me just note, also, that I love what all of you had to say about your travel hopes and dreams. I was bitten by the travel bug long ago, and now I have a few more places I can think about going to that I hadn't known about or thought of before. Thanks for your entries!

Now, for my answer to my own question. There are sooo many places in the world I would love to visit, but right now, I think my top choice would be Hawaii. My grandma eloped in Hawaii, and I've been thinking of her lately. I think sometimes it helps to go to the places our loved ones enjoyed to feel like we know them better, even after they're gone. Plus, let's face it, there's a reason Hawaii is so popular. It's gorgeous and full of culture. I would love to experience the island life.

Legacies

2011-02-05T15:57:00.000+10:00

I've been thinking lately...about legacies...about the messages we give people and the examples we set. I was looking at my friend's pictures on her facebook, and she had one up of her and her mom. My friend said something along the lines of "we're so pretty," and her mom responded, "I wouldn't go that far." It's easy for me to immediately think critical thoughts of this response, but how many times do we criticize ourselves for the sake of not seeming rude or haughty? A few days later, I was at a church gathering with some of the ladies at church, and our topic of conversation eventually ended up on weight. The topic fresh on my mind from my journal entries, I decided to sit back and observe. I think most groups of women talking about food and weight, etc, would end up with the same reactions, so I'm certainly not out to criticize this group of women...I observed that every woman there had something negative to say about themselves.

All of these situations had me thinking...what would happen if we started acknowledging that God has made us perfectly? That we are "fearfully and wonderfully made?" What if we started thanking people for the compliments they give us instead of immediately criticizing ourselves? What would happen if we decided to stop counting calories and instead focus on treating our bodies with respect?

I think a revolution would happen...a revolution in the way that we feel about ourselves...a revolution in our outlook on people, on food, on confidence, on etiquette. People would start to stand with a healthy confidence instead of a cheap version of confidence to cover their insecurities. Kids would start to grow up thinking well of themselves instead of constantly feeling like they're not good enough. We would know how valuable we are to God and to the people that love us...and we would know that it's not wrong to feel that way. We would be able to help others and give of ourselves, because we would see ourselves as infinitely worth giving...able to help...able to encourage...able to be at peace with who God has made us instead of hating who we are and wondering why He made us that way. We would be more thankful and less fearful...more settled and dependable and less anxious.

If you are a mom, a dad, a sister, a brother, or a friend, these are things you need to think about. (Did you notice that I covered everyone)? Someone is watching the way you live. Someone is watching the way you interact with others, the way you interact with yourself, and following your example. Think about what you're saying and know that it matters.

P.S. Please enter my giveaway for my 100th post! That's right, this is my 100th post on this blog!!! See previous post for details. Also, if my American readers are interested, I would be more than happy to send you something handmade from me as well. Let me know! Winner will be announced tomorrow!

I am so incredibly happy to have shared these couple of years with you all. Thank you for reading my random thoughts and what I'm up to. I thoroughly enjoy writing, and I'm so glad that some of you enjoy reading. Please feel free to spread the word about this blog. I would love to build it up to have more followers and be a more consistent responsibility.

Also, see Creme Hurray for some amazing baked goods from my dear friend, Leah. You won't be sorry!

To enter the giveaway...

2011-02-04T10:09:00.000+10:00

Hello everyone!

Yesterday was an awful day, and I literally fell into bed as soon as I got home last night. Thus, I apologise for the lateness of this post.

I will be posting once more today, and my 100th post will be tomorrow! So, I'll be giving away a couple of things, since I'm so excited about having posted 100 times. I'm doing a giveaway both for an Aussie reader and an American reader.

My American winner will get a gift voucher to Creme Hurray bakery, run by my good friend Leah. You won't be sorry to taste her treats. She's amazing.

My Aussie winner will receive a 100 g bag of tea from the Tea Centre, a lovely tea cup from our selection at the Toowoomba Tea Centre, and something homemade from yours truly.

To enter, tell me, if there's anywhere in the world that you'd want to go, where would it be and why?

The winner will be chosen at random and announced on Sunday, February 6th (Aussie time). Looking forward to it!

Giveaway and 100th post!

2011-02-02T21:15:00.000+10:00

I have something to tell you...something exciting...
I am 3 posts away from my 100th post (not including this post)!!!!!!!!! Aren't you SO EXCITED?! I am!

I apologise...I had one of those massive red bulls earlier tonight...and now I'm soooo wide awake and sort of hyper. Reminds me of my early high school days.

Anyway, the whole point of my telling you this is to tell you that I'm also doing a giveaway on my 100th post! And, not only will I be doing a give away to one person, but I will be doing one in two different countries! That's right. Since I have connections in America, I will be doing one giveaway to my readers in America and one giveaway to my Aussie readers.

My American winner will be receiving a gift voucher from Creme Hurray Bakery. Leah makes some of the best treats, and I'm excited for you to experience them during your tea time.

My Aussie winner...well, your prize will be announced soon. I'm concocting a plan, but I have to see if I can get my thoughts organised for it soon. So, stay tuned!

This giveaway will be happening on Saturday, February 5th (Aussie time). Entries for the giveaway will begin tomorrow, February 3rd. Just wanted to give you a heads up! Can't wait!

DAAAAANNNNCCCEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-01-28T20:49:00.000+10:00

You know what I like to do after a long, exhausting, terrible day? Watch iJustine videos on Youtube, particularly the ones of her dancing in apple stores. I recently discovered her channel while browsing and had to subscribe after watching her million subscribers dance. I can't help myself. She's hilarious, and I wish I had the guts to completely goof off in front of people like she does. Out of all her videos I've found so far, this one is, by far, my favorite.

Now, don't you feel a little better? Hope you have a lovely day.

Fried green tomatoes at the Newman cafe

2011-01-23T22:10:00.000+10:00

Image via Wikipedia

I just have to share with y'all...

Living in another country can be difficult, because there are things you will always miss that you can't get in the new place. While this is part of the exchange and I'm not complaining (after all, Australia does have meat pies), one of the things I miss is frying up some green tomatoes in the middle of summer. Yes, Australia does have tomatoes (tom-ah-toes), but they don't sell the green ones. No one buys them and no one eats them. Well, I have some exciting news...for myself...

A dear lady in my church heard me talking about how much I miss fried green tomatoes...and today...oh my goodness I might hyperventilate from excitement...today, she came up to me and told me she has A WHOLE BOX of green tomatoes just for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, the pounds (kilos) that will be gained over the next week or two. Totally worth it. Just had to share this treasure with you. I would invite you over to share them with me, but I guarantee they will all be gone by the time I fry them all. I munch as I go.

Happy Birthday!

2011-01-20T10:25:00.000+10:00

I would like to take this moment to wish Paula Deen, my favorite Southern icon, Happy Birthday! And, just 'cause I love her, I will now leave you with a cute video of her making my favorite Southern treat.

Inspiration

2011-01-19T15:24:00.001+10:00

Image by Sunciti _ Sundaram 's Gallery Galore. via Flickr

I've been looking at craftgawker lately. I find myself inspired each time I look, because the depth of human creativity astounds me. I love that God created people so differently. We each have our own gifts, our own way of looking at life, and our own outlets. My outlet is drinking a nice cup of tea, crocheting, and watching Gilmore Girls. Today, it's just started to storm outside, which makes it an even more perfect night for crafting. Although, I think I'll be finishing the novel I've been reading, too.

What's your outlet? Any websites that inspire you?

And another thing...

2011-01-18T19:13:00.002+10:00

Enjoy.

Small gifts

2011-01-18T19:00:00.000+10:00

Lately, as I've gone through each day, I've noticed little things that I consider gifts from God...reminding me of His love for me and that He knows me well.

Yesterday, as I rushed to work, I felt a little stressed and anxious. For any of you that have anxiety, you may know that sometimes this happens for no particular reason. The anxiety simply swells up until you can't ignore it anymore. Anyway, this is how I was feeling, for no particular reason, so I decided to listen to classical music. Classical music has been scientifically proven to calm nerves, so I often turn to it to relax when I need to. So, yesterday, as I listened, I suddenly recognized one of the songs as one that my choir sang in high school! SO EXCITING! I nearly ran off the road from excitement (but instead sang along and relished the moment).

It's the little things.

A time to heal...

2011-01-07T07:42:00.001+10:00

We're getting to that point in our relationship where people have decided that they should have a say in our starting a family. We've had people hint around the subject, and we've had people blatantly tell us it's time we had kids. Are you ever baffled by what people decide is acceptable and polite?

But on to better things (mostly because I haven't had my morning cup of tea yet, which is where that whole rant came from), I've decided something about 2011. Usually, in the new year, I make a list of goals that I hope to accomplish in the next year. Sometimes I reach these goals, and most of the time I'm at least better off having made them. The goals, however, to cause me some anxiety, because my perfectionist self hates not accomplishing every single goal on the list perfectly (which is nearly impossible when you have a goal list like mine). All that to say, I've decided 2011 is going to be different. Last year was, by far, the hardest year I have ever lived in my entire life. So, 2011 is my year to heal. It's my year to go easy on myself for once in my life and process what's happened. It's my year to take the pressure off myself and change the expectations.

For instance, I was reading back in my journals from when I was about 9 years old, and I was already writing all the time about how I felt I needed to lose weight and that I was too fat...at 9. years. old. I find that to be incredibly sad, especially when I think back to all the years losing weight has been a resolution. Well, not this year. This year, I'm not going to count calories or keep track of anything. I'm simply going to work on eating healthy and not beating myself up when I have a time that I splurge more often than not. Sometimes eating is a coping mechanism, and, if there was ever a time in my life where I needed to go easy on myself for eating chocolate, it's now.

I'm going to journal. I'm going to take at least one retreat by myself to a peaceful location. I'm going to actually read my Bible with no pressure to read a certain amount every day (because, let's face it, reading the Bible under pressure is not enjoyable, and I believe it's one of the activities that God really wants to be a delight to our hearts). Those are my goals, but goals I have with out pressure. Those are goals, because I know they will help me to heal and process and de stress.

Did I mention I have a pretty new house? It fell in our laps at exactly the right time. God knew I needed that one thing in my life to be fixed. It's the first home I've felt we'd live in for a long time, and it's the first home that I liked a lot since we've been married. Things are falling into place (as they always do when we trust the Lord). It has more space and a pretty porch and a beautiful kitchen...and we're allowed to have pets! Hahaha, can't wait to be able to afford a sweet little puppy.

Anyway, I think I've made my point and sufficiently shared my thoughts. I will leave you with this passage of Scripture which always comforts me in the ups and downs of life.

¹ There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

² a time to be born and a time to die,
   a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³ a time to kill and a time to heal,
   a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
   a time to mourn and a time to dance,
⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
   a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
   a time to keep and a time to throw away,
⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,
   a time to be silent and a time to speak,
⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,
   a time for war and a time for peace.

--Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

This is my time to heal, build, laugh, dance, search, and mend. And, at the end of the year, I hope to say that it's my time for peace. What time is it in your life?

Perfect Imperfection

2010-11-26T21:02:00.000+10:00

My whole life, I've been told that I'm "mature." While I do believe this, in many ways I am a late bloomer. One of these ways is in balancing time, something I've recently discovered I haven't really had to do much since graduating uni. Since starting my job at the tea centre, however, I've noticed how much work I have to do in this area. The dishes have been left undone, take away has been the source of my meals, and friends have not been called. Of course, it's natural that I would feel a bit discouraged about my lack of perfection, but in some ways I feel refreshed. I look at myself and see all the faults and flaws and see how imperfect I am...and it's so overwhelming that I realize I'm not supposed to be perfect. While I was created to be God's perfect creation and Adam and Eve messed that up, I think God left us with the desire to still be perfect so that we would know we aren't perfect unless we're in Him. We will never be satisfied and whole until we rest in Him. So, yes...refreshed is the feeling I'm left with in knowing how imperfect I am...because the pressure is off. I can never be perfect no matter how hard I try. I must look to the One in whom I am perfected. It is finished. And nothing I do can change that, and there's nothing I can do to prove that I'm in any way deserving...because I'm not...and that's the beauty of the gift He's given us through Christ.

Tooth Mousse

2010-11-10T22:06:00.000+10:00

I did something horrifying this week...something I hate doing...something that has to be done at least once a year...

I went to the dentist.
Are you shocked? I knew you would be.
I was nervous about going, mostly because I haven't been in over 3 years (bad, I know), but also because I'm in a new country and things work differently here (naturally). I brushed my teeth before I left to make sure they were extra super dee duper clean, arrived early, and semi-anxiously waited.

Ok, so a really neat thing at this dentist... There's a television mounted on the ceiling. Usually, (and we've all been there) I sit/lay in the chair with my mouth open trying not to smell the dentist's breath or look at them because it's all very awkward. Well, this time, voila! I had something to look at.

And do you know what I hate about the dentist? The crunchy toothpaste and the feel of that spinny toothbrush thing they use to put it on. Ugh, I cringe just thinking about that sound, too. Eew. Anyway, I can honestly and confidently say that the only unpleasant thing about this dentist trip was sitting in the chair while they checked my teeth and wondering what language they were speaking. I kept sitting there thinking, "what does that mean? Is it a cavity? Will I need a root canal?" while also trying to relax and sit still and not worry. Difficult, these things.

Moving on, at the end of the appointment, the dentist had good news and bad news. The good news: my teeth were so immaculate that they didn't have to clean them at all. The bad news: that means that my saliva is too acidic which he literally said means that if I don't take care of it now then I'd wake up one day and realize that I had old lady teeth. Not what I want to hear at 23 years of age. So, I have to use this stuff called "Tooth Mousse" every night before I go to bed and it will take care of it. Easy.

I've now used this mousse a few nights in a row. The taste isn't bad and I don't mind the texture. I'd say the weirdest and most unpleasant thing about tooth mousse is the fact that as soon, and I mean as soon, as I put it in my mouth, I start salivating...and I can't spit it out for at least 5 minutes. It's a bit gross, but all in all, a good swap for old lady teeth.

At this point, I'm just relieved to be cavity free.

P.S. The kids I worked with at Eagle Boys were always telling me how white and straight my teeth were. I told them I aspire to be on a colgate commercial. Just a fun fact to leave with you.

New job

2010-11-07T09:24:00.001+10:00

Oh my, I've been a bad blogger. For that I'm sorry.

I just have a few things to update you on, which most of you may know already if you've read my twitter or facebook. I had to quit my job at Eagle Boys. Long story. Basically, they needed more from me than I could give, and I needed to find something that suited me better. So, I didn't really actively look for a job, but I handed out resumes when I heard of a job or found out one was opening soon.

Remember the Tea Centre? I was in there one day getting an iced tea and decided to ask if they were hiring for Christmas. When they said "yes" I got an excited, fire ball, butterfly feeling in the pit of my stomach. I dropped off a resume and waited. Soon, they called me for a "trial." Long story short, I got the job! I started this past Friday, and I can just tell it's going to be exactly what I need. As much as I loved my job at Eagle Boys, I loved it because of the people I worked with. With my new job, I love the job itself, and the people I've met so far have been delightful.

In my creativity course, Andrea had us journal one week and used the journal entries the next week. It was a guided journal with questions. Well some of the questions were "Are you a morning person or a night owl," "Do you like the country or the city," things of that nature. The next week, she said that if we are a morning person but we have a job working nights or are up nights because of something, we are squelching some of our creativity. If we are a city person and working/living in the country, we are choking some of our creativity. So, taking this job is a baby step toward my creativity, too. I am a morning person and a city person, and I was working nights and living/working in the country. Now, I'll be working in the day time and working in the city. I'm so excited!

That is what my focus has mainly been on lately. Just getting everything done for the transition of jobs. Another thing that's exciting is we might be moving into a nicer place soon (where we can't hear everything the neighbor is doing). Things are looking up, my friends.

I would love to hear how you're doing! Please, if I don't already follow, send me a link to your blog(s) and/or let me know how you're doing.

Road Block

2010-10-24T15:54:00.000+10:00

Image via Wikipedia

I'm realizing that I have a pattern. I share this pattern, perhaps, with many people. When something hard happens, or when I have a stressful time in my life, everything within me avoids to think about the situation(s). Then, I find myself frustrated when I sit down to write or paint or just be creative and can't focus on anything except my problems.

Well, I've hit what I call my "road block" again. It's massive, and it's in my way. I can see my creative, thriving self on the other side of it, but I'm having a hard time getting to her. I want to use my hard times to create something beautiful, to thrive, but my road block won't allow me to move.

I thought about this earlier this morning, frustrated by the lapse in creativity that I've experienced lately. Then, I had a sort of epiphany. I'm going to journal about the road block...what it looks like to me, what it feels like to me...I'm going to paint the road block. I'm hoping this is part of the key of breaking past the cumbersome road block. Later, after having this thought, I read part of Andrea's blog for today on abc creativity, and she mentioned that she has creative phases and patterns that she has to remind herself to go with. She allows herself to simply exist sometimes and allows the thoughts bouncing in her head to continue bouncing. She allows herself to sit on her couch and look out the window and just think for awhile...just rest. I feel like God is trying to tell me that it's okay for me to process and take my time doing so. I have a hard time being patient with myself, but I think this is a time where that's exactly what I need to do.

I can feel it...

2010-10-21T16:52:00.001+10:00

I am loving my creativity course.

Last week we journaled on different things, mostly opinions (favorite colors, morning person or night owl, that sort of thing). Well, this week, the lesson built upon that and encouraged us to embrace some of those things and make sure they're in line with what we're doing. For instance, if we are a morning person and going to bed late at night instead, going to bed earlier and waking up early will spur on our creativity. Or if we love being in the city but spend most of our time in the country, then moving to or going into the city more often will spur on our creativity. So, this week, I've been trying to think about these applications and notice what things I need to change. It's a matter of baby steps, but it makes so much sense to me, and I can already tell a difference in the way I'm thinking. After all, being in a creative niche happens when we are in a type of haven (at least for me), and this happens for me when I have a conducive environment. Exciting things are going to happen soon...I can feel it...

Thoughts

2010-10-18T10:24:00.000+10:00

It's amazing what talking and having a good cry can do for your stress levels. The entire week last week (except for 1 day) was spent with feelings of intense stress. My poor husband worked hard and came home with me in a stressful frenzy. Well, finally, yesterday, I talked and he just listened and let me cry and then cleaned the house for me. He is the Biblical definition of a loving husband. So I'm feeling better.

Along with de-stressing, I've been ridding my life of negative influence. One of the things I've done is stop comparing myself to people in my life that seem to be more confident or more together than me. I have a tendency to obsess over "everyone else" and how "they can do it so why can't I?" Well, I end up realizing it's just one or two people that I end up comparing myself to, and I'm done doing that. They're hidden from my newsfeed, both in my head and literally. Also, I've had many people in my life that I end up trying to reach out to that just don't want to be friends with me (evident through their ignoring me consistently). I know I've been that way with certain people, although I didn't realize it, and if you're one of those people then let me publicly apologize to you for that. It doesn't feel good. So, I'm making a commitment to reach out to those friends that want to be my friend and stop obsessing or wasting time over those people who have decided they don't need any more friends. Just making these decisions has lifted a burden already.

Did I tell you about my creativity course? My mom and I are taking a free e-course on creativity. It's amazing. I can't even describe to you how much it's helped me process who I am and what I'm capable of already, and I'm only in week 3. Awesome. Please let me know if you decide to take it, too. I would love to support you in that.

Another thing: I got the prettiest, most amazing package in the mail the other day from one of my blogger buddies. Verity, from Joie de tea (a lovely blog, by the way) took it upon herself to welcome me to Australia and help relieve my stress and homesickness by sending me some tea that she made! I have tried 3 of the four teas and am most certainly hooked. They're beautiful. Please visit her blog and check out all the tea-filled goodness that she brings to the blogger community. Thank you, Verity, for your gesture of kindness. It's been a great comfort to me in the past couple of weeks.

On top of all that loveliness, I have lost 3 lbs in my first week of counting calories and getting back on track. Feel free to pop by my other blog to see my progress in the coming weeks. I'm using Sparkpeople and loving it!

I guess that's all I have for today. I should be more consistent in writing from here on out, so feel free to check back often. Hope you're all doing really well and learning to breathe and live in the moment like I am trying to do. I would love to hear from you if you just need to vent or have someone to talk to, so please write me!

Love and lots less worry lines,

Samantha

Stress relief begins

2010-10-12T12:15:00.002+10:00

Read this for stress relief.

Stress

2010-10-11T21:10:00.000+10:00

Stress. Just reading that word brings me an immediate feeling of anxiety. I have to stop myself from freaking out and just take some deep breaths.

This past weekend was eye-opening for me in many ways. Going to Sydney was amazing. We had a lot of fun at the harbor and everything, which I'm hoping to post photos of soon, but I learned a lot about myself, too.

I need people. I need people that I click with, that I instantly feel comfortable with. I need to understand them and be understood, too. At the Australia Christian Convention this weekend, I met a lot of people that I instantly felt I had known for years. What a wonderful feeling that is to click with someone to that extent--especially several people. The hardest part about it was coming back to our house...our lonely town. I guess it makes me look forward to heaven that much more, though...I imagine it will very much be like this past weekend.

On Friday night, I went to the first women's session of the convention. It was about taking care of yourself before you can effectively serve and take care of others. My friend, Dawn, shared about taking care of yourself emotionally and spiritually. I can tell you from personal experience how humbling it is to reflect on how spiritually and emotionally healthy you are. I realized how much I've neglected these areas of my life. How busy I've been and how much I haven't wanted to reflect on how I'm really doing. Then, Lynne got up and talked about being physically healthy--not only through exercise, but also with our stress levels. Wow. I've been feeling stressed lately, I know. She gave us a packet of information about physical health that the local hospitals give people that have heart problems. In it was a stress test to rate how stressful of a year it's been. She talked, then, about a year she had had and how she woke up each morning feeling dread and anxiety. When she took the stress test, she realized why. She realized that she wasn't crazy. Wow, that sounds a lot like me, I thought as tears welled up in my eyes. When I took the test later that night, I was more than 3 times more stressed than people who have a major crisis in their lives. No wonder. I'm not crazy. What a relief.

So, my friends, I'm on another journey, another chapter of my life. A journey of processing...not avoiding my problems. A journey of learning to stop and give myself a break. A journey of being easy on myself...because it's okay to know our limits. It's okay to step back and know that we can only be stretched and pulled so far. I'm giving myself a break. I hope you'll do the same when you need to.

Sydney!

2010-10-05T11:38:00.000+10:00

Image via Wikipedia

I know I've promised to write more, but the days have continued to keep busy. Thus, time has not allowed me to write you the usual love letters and let you know what's going on in the booming metropolis in which I live (not). And, sadly (or not so sadly for this particular point), I will continue to be busy for the next week because WE'RE GOING TO SYDNEY!!!! I've never been there, so you can imagine my excitement. It will be a whirlwind of a trip, but it's one in which I get to:
See my friend, Sarah, from high school who also lives in Australia (we'll have matching accents).
and
See the harbor!
and
meet heaps of new people, because I'm going to the Australia Christian Convention.

I'm a little excited, can't you tell? Another thing that I'm looking forward to is taking photos. I'm slowly, but surely, exploring photography. I did a little of it in high school, which I may have told you already, and I'm picking it back up and trying again. I've set a couple of appointments with local photographers to ask them about the industry, and until then I'm shooting up a storm. So, I'll be choosing my favorite photos and sharing them with you when I return.

Have any of you been to Sydney? Is there anything I should fit in during my trip?

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Books!

2010-09-29T20:35:00.000+10:00

My dad bought me an amazon gift card for my birthday, and today I received the books I ordered in the mail! I couldn't believe how quickly it shipped since I'm international. I ordered them around a week ago. Anyway, these are my finds:

The New Glucose Revolution Low GI Gluten-Free Eating Made Easy by Dr. Jennie Brand-Miller, Kate Marsh, and Philippa Sandall

Like Dandelion Dust by Karen Kingsbury

Mark of the Lion Gift Collection by Francine Rivers

I've read the Mark of the Lion series, but the other two books are new to me. I'm very excited about all of them. Daniel and I are going to Sydney next week, and I was hoping and praying I would receive my order in time to take at least one of the books with me. So good!

What kind of books do you like to read?

Just getting started

2010-09-26T11:08:00.000+10:00

Oh my goodness; I've had the craziest week. I've been babysitting for a friends kid during the day, and either catching up on housework or working at Eagle Boys in the evenings. Crazy. Now that I have a little time, though, I thought I'd share a few things.

I feel like I'm finally passing into adulthood and becoming a confident woman. A woman worthy of respect. A few things have happened that are slowly showing me who I am.

A few weeks ago, I wrote about the change I had had after a weekend with my friend, Jo. I've been a little up and down since then, but the lesson I learned that weekend has continued to be affirmed. I believe God is affirming who I am and showing me how to be confident. Anyway, here's what's happened, in a nutshell:

My job was in jeopardy a few weeks ago. I was told I had a week to work on some things before they decided whether I could move past my "in training" phase (which I took to mean I could lose my job). Well, I proved myself to them. I went to work with a new gusto and what I call "go mode" that showed them I was capable and someone they wanted to keep. This helped me see that I am capable and that I don't have to quit when I feel like I've failed.
Someone I love was doing something I didn't like. Instead of letting them or being angry about it and not saying anything, I gently let them know what my boundaries were and that they shouldn't cross them again. This made me know that I can set boundaries with people gently and built my confidence in those boundaries. Assertiveness has always been hard for me to do gently, but I feel like I'm getting better at it.
I don't know about you, but there have always been people in my life that I was drawn to, that I wanted to be friends with, that ended up ignoring me or not putting any effort in where I was putting all my effort in. I've recently had that happen again. I've realized, in those circumstances, that I don't have to keep putting that effort in, and by doing so, I'm not being assertive and am instead setting myself up for hurt and disappointment. There are plenty of people in my life that like me, that want to be friends with me, and I'm going to invest my time and energy in those people rather than the people that don't want me or don't like me. I feel empowered by this decision.
I discovered something more completely that I knew about myself, but am now committed to. When I am involved with something, the things that make me thrive and work to my best ability have to entail creativity and/or relationships. Anything outside of these two things are draining and negative for me. I feel a little closer to discovering what I want to do with a career (and/or if I want to have a career). I feel confident in knowing what areas to pursue now, too. It's a great feeling to know this about myself. In the future, I will also know what areas and activities to say "no" to.

Those are the things that have really struck me these last couple weeks. I may come back and write in more depth and detail about a few of them (if I get a bit more time this week). I had a few days, around my birthday, as you know, where I was sad and wanted to just pack up and go back to America, but God is showing me how much of a haven Australia can be if I will just let it. I have discovered more about myself in the last year than in the rest of my entire life. There is something wonderful about that, and I'm not ready to back down now. I'm just getting started.

A little more sound of music

2010-09-15T10:05:00.000+10:00

I had to share this video that my friend Kyle sent me yesterday. I got chills! (they're multiplying...wait--different movie...) Enjoy!

I have confidence in me!

2010-09-14T11:47:00.001+10:00

What will this day be like? I wonder.
What will my future be? I wonder.
It could be so exciting to be out in the world, to be free
My heart should be wildly rejoicing
Oh, what's the matter with me?

I've always longed for adventure
To do the things I've never dared
And here I'm facing adventure
Then why am I so scared

A captain with seven children
What's so fearsome about that?

Oh, I must stop these doubts, all these worries
If I don't I just know I'll turn back
I must dream of the things I am seeking
I am seeking the courage I lack

The courage to serve them with reliance
Face my mistakes without defiance
Show them I'm worthy
And while I show them
I'll show me

So, let them bring on all their problems
I'll do better than my best
I have confidence they'll put me to the test
But I'll make them see I have confidence in me

Somehow I will impress them
I will be firm but kind
And all those children (Heaven bless them!)
They will look up to me

And mind me with each step I am more certain
Everything will turn out fine
I have confidence the world can all be mine
They'll have to agree I have confidence in me

I have confidence in sunshine
I have confidence in rain
I have confidence that spring will come again
Besides which you see I have confidence in me

Strength doesn't lie in numbers
Strength doesn't lie in wealth
Strength lies in nights of peaceful slumbers
When you wake up -- Wake Up!

It tells me all I trust I lead my heart to
All I trust becomes my own
I have confidence in confidence alone
(Oh help!)

I have confidence in confidence alone

Besides which you see I have confidence in me!

You know how I wrote about my homesickness last night? Well, I woke up feeling the same way...sad and having a hard time seeing the bright side of this Australia thing. When I have days like this, one of the best things I can do for myself is watch the Sound of Music. And, as "I have confidence" begins, my heart swells with recognition and understanding. And, as she continues to sing, I find myself wanting to have her attitude, and finding a new determination to have "confidence in me."

Birthday week

2010-09-13T18:44:00.000+10:00

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I love getting packages in the mail. This past weekend, I received a package from my mom for my birthday. It came on a day where I needed something uplifting, which is completely appropriate timing for my mom's intentions. She's always encouraging those around them--a burst of light that can't help but brighten the lives of everyone in the room. Anyway, I hurriedly called her and asked if I could open the package right then or if I should wait until my birthday. She said I could open it then, if I wanted, and...well, I love presents. I couldn't contain my curiosity any longer and excitedly opened it. The cards she got me (one of which is Little Mermaid themed) are displayed on my kitchen table where I can see them as I walk by. The Yankee Candle she got me is burning right now and sharing it's fragrance (Macintosh) with me as I try not to get homesick thinking of the sound of the Florida ocean and the smell of the salt in the air...and thinking of the smell of the fresh cut grass in the Tennesee hills in those moments with my husband when we started dating and got married and then were engaged...sigh...can you tell I'm having a hard time calling Australia "home" lately? There are days when I feel like it could be home soon...but then I have days where I am so homesick that I can't ever think of calling this country "home." Will it ever get better? Well, I'm just not sure.

But let's not focus on the negative. The other thing my mom sent me nearly made me cry. I have mentioned, briefly, on this blog that I have secretly loved photography for many years. Well, my mom read that and send me a book this book which I'm finding inspiring and exciting and invigorating. What made me cry wasn't the fact that I now owned a book to help me with photography, but the fact that my mom believed in me enough to buy me that book and give me the vision that I can do this if I want to. So, we'll see where that dream ends up. I dream daily of wonderful possibilities. A lot of them may never happen, but it's still fun to think about.

So, now I start what I call my "birthday week." I started birthday week last year when we moved here. We had only been here a few weeks, and I knew it would be a difficult birthday for me away from my family and friends. It helped...a little. I'm hoping my second birthday week will be just as effective. I at least get a free ice cream at Baskin Robbins for my birthday...and Daniel is taking me to the Robina Towne Center, partially to get his laptop looked at and see what's wrong with it, but it's such a big and beautiful shopping center. I'm looking forward to it. I even found a restaurant there that serves gluten free entrees, mains, and desserts. I think that's the part of the day I'm looking forward to the most (especially since it overlooks the lake--perfect). Now I'll just cross my fingers and hope that Saturday's a pretty day.

What about you? What do you do special for your birthday?

Thankful: My kitchen/cooking

2010-09-09T16:22:00.000+10:00

You may have noticed I haven't posted like I promised I would. Well, lemme 'splain. Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of our move to Australia. I should feel excited, right? Well, in some ways, yes...in many ways, not so much. You see, it's been an entire year since I've seen my family and my closest friends. And, when I go back home, my family will look entirely different due to the separation of my parents. So, a lot of things were hard about yesterday. I had to count my blessings, too. Australia is a haven for me, in that I am separated from the trauma my family is going through. If I were there, nearby, for all this...well, it would be much worse for me. I feel the need to help and make peace, especially in my own family...and this isn't a situation in which I can do that, even if I tried. From Australia, though, I know that I can't do anything except pray for that peace. Australia is also a place where I will never see snow (at least not in the town we live in), winter is only 12 weeks long, and the sun is out the majority of the year (something important to me--I get depressed with out any sunshine after awhile). Australia has health food readily available in a way that America doesn't, something that blesses me each and every week when I shop for groceries. I don't have to go to a health food store for gluten free foods or high quality soy milk. Plus, we have the means for me to be able to go to a naturopath and a chiropractor for my hormones. We couldn't hardly eat pork and beans from a can when we were living in America. I have a lot of blessings to consider. What does all this have to do with my kitchen, you ask? (Or maybe you don't ask, I dunno). Well, yesterday was emotionally taxing for me, and my kitchen provided the opportunity for me to heal. Cooking is something I do sometimes when I'm sad. Something about the bubbling, the dicing, the excuse to cry after chopping onions. The creation of a few ingredients into a healthy, delicious meal--something about that keeps me going. Yesterday, I baked a gluten free bread mix (which actually turned out pretty good), and made a tasty dinner while sipping hot chocolate that my dear husband got me when I had a small fit of crying. (He's so sweet). So, yesterday, I was ever so thankful for my kitchen and the fact that I can use cooking as a coping mechanism when I'm having a rough time. And, because I love you (and because it's yummy), I'm going to post the recipe I made last night. If you'd like to see how I made it gluten free, head over to my other blog.

Chicken with Wild Mushroom and Balsamic Cream Sauce (recipe courtesy of Rachael Ray)

Salt
1/2 pound orzo pasta (I use any kind of pasta I want, 'cause I'm rebellious like that)
2 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil, 2 turns of the pan
4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, 6 ounces
Pepper
2 tbsp butter
A lot of mushrooms (the recipe calls for 12 cremini or baby portobellos, 12 shitake mushrooms, and 12 white mushrooms, but I use whatever I feel like buying), sliced
2 large garlic cloves, chopped
1 tbsp thyme leaves, a couple of sprigs, chopped
2 large shallots, thinly sliced (last night I used scallions, sometimes I just use 1 large onion)
2 tbsp all-purpose flour
1 1/2 cups chicken stock
1 tbsp balsamic vinegar, eyeball it
3 tbsp heavy cream or half and half
1/4 cup chopped flat leaf parsley, a generous handful

Heat a large pot of water to a boil. Salt the water and add the pasta. Cook to al dente.

Preheat a large nonstick skillet (I use cast-iron, 'cause I like it better and it makes me feel like a better cook) over medium-high heat and add extra-virgin olive oil, 2 turns of the pan. Season chicken liberally with salt and pepper and add to the hot skillet. Cook the chicken for 5 to 6 minutes on each side. (I usually slice the chicken before I cook it. It cooks faster that way). Remove the chicken from the pan and cover with foil to keep warm.

Return the skillet to the heat, turn heat back a bit, and add the butter. Once the butter melts, add the mushrooms and brown stirring occasionally for about 4 or 5 minutes. Once the mushrooms are brown, season with salt and pepper, then add the garlic, thyme and shallots. Cook, stirring occasionally, for about 2 minutes or until the shallots are wilted. Sprinkle the flour into the pan and cook 2 minutes more. Whisk in the stock, balsamic vinegar, and cream. Turn the heat up to high and simmer for about 2 minutes or until thickened. Slice the chicken on an angle (if you haven't already). Add the parsley and the chicken back to the skillet to heat up, about 1 minute.

To serve, pile on pasta and top with chicken and sauce. Enjoy!

Thankful: Flowers

2010-09-09T11:18:00.000+10:00

These are the flowers that my dear husband came in the door with a few weeks ago. I find that as I'm hanging the laundry on the line and look over to see my flowers, my day is lifted ever so slightly. I'm thankful, not only because they're cheerful, but also for the fact that I've never gardened anything before. Gardening and me have never introduced ourselves to each other, and I'm excited to start getting acquainted with this hobby--to see if I'm good at it if nothing else.

My mother-in-law is not a gardener. My husband once told her she was less nurturing than the desert when she over watered a cactus and, consequently, killed it. My mom has dabbled in gardening a little, and been successful. It's exciting for her, but doesn't seem to be a time consuming hobby for her. A lot of the ladies in our church have beautiful gardens. I guess I'm just excited to see where I'll end up on the scale of gardening. I would love to have one of those gardens that people marvel at and just have to look at when they walk by. So we'll see where I end up. Until then, I'm thankful when these daisies nod their pretty heads at me when I walk by.

Stay tuned

2010-09-07T22:45:00.000+10:00

I logged on to share my photo for today, but for some reason, my blogger account isn't showing the photo I took on my files. So, I just wanted to let you know that and tell you that I'll be posting two photos tomorrow, assuming blogger allows me to do so.

Enjoy your day/evening (depending on which time zone you're reading from)!

Love,

Sam

Thankful: The view

2010-09-06T18:17:00.000+10:00

Moving to a new country involves many things. One of the many things--getting sick. Well, a couple weeks ago, I got sick from some chicken that I'd eaten. I assumed it was just because it was day-old chicken, but I made the same kind last night, ate it straight from the oven (cooked perfectly) and felt sick again (I think I'm allergic to the hormones in the chicken--nothing but free-range for me from now on). So, all that to say, I spent the day on the couch in my pajamas gulping water. On days like this, I find myself thankful for the opportunity to relax and enjoy the time I have to myself. Today, in particular, I was thankful for the view I have out the window of our little apartment. We live about a block from the main strip of town, so the sidewalk by our house gets a lot of traffic and is always interesting to look out and daydream. Today, I daydreamed and processed and watched the different creatures just coming out with the new spring season here in Oz.

What about you? Is there a view that makes you daydream?

Thankful: My job

2010-09-04T22:50:00.000+10:00

As I thought about everything I could write about today, the one thing that I found myself incredibly grateful for is my job. I work at a pizza place. Might sound mediocre, dead-end, and perhaps boring. I've found, however, that it is one of the best jobs I've ever had. I believe this is, in part, due to the fact that the people I work with are upbeat and fun. I typically go into work and know that I'll enjoy socializing with my workmates and feel like I've accomplished something at the end of the night. Yes, I'm washing dishes, cutting and delivering pizzas, and answering phones. I am so thankful, though, because I leave work every night and don't have to think about it again until I go back in the next week. I leave work and feel accomplished, because I know I've done my job and I've done it well. I thought I could only handle two days of work a week, and that's exactly what I work. Not only that, but I actually don't mind working more than that because I love my job so much. Another plus note: the "in training" on my name-tag will be coming off very soon.

Procrastination station

2010-09-03T20:48:00.000+10:00

I've spent this past week taking a break from the internet. Why, you ask? Well, I realized how much I use facebook, blogger, and various other websites to procrastinate all the responsibilities that I have. Like dishes. And cleaning anything at all. And grocery shopping. And banking. Minor details, really. So, I spent my days focusing on those things this week. It was challenging for me to see just how much I've put things off, and I am utterly exhausted. I put off so many things that I had more than I could handle this week. So, my priorities will be a different from now on. I still have the goal, now that I'm back online, to write an entry a day, whether it's on this blog or my other blog. I won't be doing this, however, until I have taken care of most other responsibilities each day.

I'm excited about this next weeks entries. In the August issue of the Notebook, the editor mentioned taking photos of things we're thankful for. I thought that idea was lovely, so that's what I'm going to be doing over the next week. I will warn you that I'm certainly not a professional photographer and my camera is a bit sad compared to most amateur photographers, but that's not the point. I hope you enjoy. Feel free to send me the photos of what you're thankful for, too! I would love to see them and share them.

Have a great weekend!

Weird

2010-08-26T10:44:00.000+10:00

"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find
someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them
and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love." — Dr. Seuss

Pioneer

2010-08-26T10:40:00.000+10:00

Yesterday, I felt terrible all day. My solution to this problem: Sit on the couch and watch Gilmore Girls all day long. Unfortunately, around 3:00, the power went out...and proceeded to stay off until about 7. Daniel went to work around 4, so I was left to figure out how to entertain myself for a few hours. At first, I complained out of boredom. I didn't feel like reading. Well, I eventually settled to read anyway. By that point, the sun had set and I lit the candles. I stared at the candles for awhile (I find fire so mesmerizing), and eventually pulled out my husband's copy of Eragon and began reading it. I was immediately hooked. And, reading by candlelight made me feel so pioneer. It's amazing how, when you have a positive outlook (which usually takes me a few minutes) things are nice and somewhat refreshing.

Breaking out of my cocoon

2010-08-23T16:03:00.000+10:00

Image by Getty Images via @daylife

Oh, dear readers, this past couple of weeks has drained me, freed me, and left my heart feeling a little more whole. While writing my last post, my heart despaired and I wondered if I would ever feel better. The week subsequent, God showed me a few things and that helped me feel better. Recently, oh how much He's showing me. Let me share some of it...

I might have told you this before, but up until my teen years, I shared my opinion freely and with bluntness. While this can sometimes help others, I had a dear friend show me that it's often hurtful (and perhaps infuriating to some) when I belittle them in such ways. So, I started a long journey of trying to figure out how to act loving to the people in my life. Just in the last couple of weeks, I feel God is bringing me out on the other side of it, and I feel empowered. Since beginning this journey, I have taught myself to think about what I'm about to say before I say it (I know, it might sound like an elementary lesson, but I had a hard time learning this). I have been made aware, by my friend and by the Holy Spirit, that I have to take care in how I say things to people and must always speak the truth in love. While these are wonderful lessons, lessons I needed to learn, God has shown me in the past couple of weeks that I have gone to the other extreme (which I think I needed to do) of cowering at the thought of sharing my thoughts (out of fear of not speaking the truth in love). I have feared dishonoring the name of God by sharing my thoughts, knowing that I have done so many times in the past. And, while doing this, I have held my feelings inside. Not only that, but I've held back important parts of my personality out of fear of offending anyone or rocking the boat...out of fear of hurting them in any way.

Well, fast forward to this past weekend. I went to visit my friend, Jo, who I hadn't seen in 4 years. We arrived Friday night to Noosa, the town she stayed, and talked into the late hours catching up on each other's lives. Jo has lived in England for the past year, and she shared with me some about the English culture. As she talked about it, I almost felt she described me--who I've become. She talked a little about passive aggressive tendencies and how it opens people up to bitterness taking root and enables gossip. I wrote in my journal that night, "For so long I've felt like I had to suppress my true self--my true feelings--in order to spare the feelings of others. While I think it's good to be mindful of other people, I am denying my true feelings and my personality by suppressing [my feelings]. They then take the form of passive agressiveness (which- what is the point, really) and harbor bitterness. I have also been convicted of gossiping lately, and now I see why I've felt the need to gossip--because of an unforgiveness in my heart. I have been living out of fear. I have been fearing so intensely what people think of me and how they'll take something I say or do that I've allowed fear to oppress me, to paralyze me. No more. I will be open. I will be myself. I will be willing to share what I'm thinking again. No more fear and no more hiding. I'm ready to bust out and be me again. It's funny, because I knew who I was already...and I just allowed the questioning that people did against my personality to throw me into a cocoon...but I truly feel like God has morphed me and changed me for the better as I'm coming out on the other side of this. I now know how to think about what I'm saying and how I'm saying something before I say it. I just have to reclaim the courage to say what I need to say again." It feels invigorating. It feels good to be silly again and not worry about what the reserved person at the other side of the room thinks. It feels freeing to have the ability to communicate what I'm feeling and thinking in a respectful, loving way. It feels good to break free of that fear.

Feel free to join me as I do a celebratory dance.

(Speaking of dancing and being silly and free, check out this blog. I guarantee it will make you smile).

One of those weeks.

2010-08-13T10:30:00.002+10:00

I have had a terrible week.

I can't go into details, but lets just say I now understand grief on a whole new level. Not only that, but little frustrating things keep happening to me, too, so that I haven't had much relief from the grief. It's one of those times where just getting through the day takes a lot of effort.

The things that are getting me through this week: The Superchic[k] station on Pandora (might sound lame, but when you're going through a hard time, superchick is the bomb), my sweet Daniel (he is a constant encouragement. He even bought me a movie just because the other day), and working.

I don't write much when I'm upset, because I don't want it to end up being a whinging (whining) fest. So, please excuse me over the next couple weeks as I write when I can and get through the day the rest of the time. In the meantime, please check out my new blog and feel free to read through my small archive of posts.

A New Blog!

2010-08-09T21:05:00.002+10:00

I feel happy to announce that I have created another blog! While this blog is about my writing, creativity, and lightheartedness, my other blog is about my journey with PCOS--Balancing everything naturally, any research I've done on the topic, and just a plethora of information. Please feel free to let me know what you think and if there are any specific things you'd like me to write about on there. I'm looking forward to having this outlet for everything I've gone through and am going through with this syndrome. I hope it helps any of you women that have imbalances of your own. You can find the link either to the right side of the page or here. Looking forward to it!

Love,

The Salvation Army

(Any of you who get that reference are awesome).

The Versatile Blogger Award

2010-08-09T15:25:00.002+10:00

My dear friend gave me this award on her blog recently! Thank you so much to her, and I hope you will all go read her blog: http://amberinblunderland.blogspot.com She's an aspiring writer that has written 3 novels, I believe. We've been friends since high school, and I'm excited to be blogging buddies.

Anyway, this reward comes with stipulations.

Thank the giver and link their blog in your post.
Share seven things about yourself.
Pass the reward to 15 recently discovered blogs.
Contact the bloggers to let them know about the reward

So here are my seven things you might not know about me:

I have played piano for many years and still do. Many people who knew me in high school knew this, but once I got to college, not many people knew it anymore. It was weird to not have that as a part of my public identity anymore. I still love playing, though...and listening to piano music. It's like my soul is more complete in both instances. I melt with the music. Might sound silly, but that's exactly how I feel.
Anything having to do with The Little Mermaid makes me instantly 4 years old again. Seriously. I squeal and jump up and down and buy things I don't need if it has Ariel on it. For example: I bought a tissue box with Disney princesses on it yesterday just because I was feeling sad and needed a pick me up. It worked.
I am really terrible at mailing things. If I want to mail something, it will usually be about a week later than when I first got it out to mail. I have no idea why.
As frustrated as I can be with my body (hormone imbalances and all), I wouldn't trade my body with anyone else's.
I want to one day get a tattoo on my foot of a turtle. It's symbolic. When I get it, I'll share why. However, I'll be waiting until I can go with my friend Jessie, which won't be for awhile.
I've secretly wished I could be good at photography for a long time. This is one of those things I hope to soon change. I want to take another class or two and invest in a nice camera. Any suggestions?
I'm a nostalgic person. I will have days, sometimes a whole week, where I'll miss "the good ol times," whether it be when I was a little girl playing in the sunshine, in high school singing in choir, or planning my wedding in my last semester of college. So many immensely blessed times I've had in my life. I'm so thankful.

And the 15 blogs I reward are, in no particular order, as follows:

Congrats to all of you! Everyone else, please read their blogs. They are all great.

A Peaceful Start to the Day

2010-08-05T08:53:00.000+10:00

My week in the blogosphere has stayed quiet, due in part because of my sore back. I went to the chiropractor the other day, though, and my back is doing much better since then (more about that in a later post). I have felt a bit stressed, for no particular reason, in the past couple of days. This morning, I wake up feeling well rested and wanting a way to start the day quietly (the way a day should always start, in my opinion). So, I give you this, to start or end your day...

I hope this brings some peace for you as it did for me. I feel a strong connection to Debussy, because I am a third generation student of his. My piano teacher's piano teacher had lessons directly from Claude Debussy. True story. His music truly is inspiring and brings me great comfort and peace. Now, I'll just go brew myself a cup of tea and watch the video again. Enjoy your day.

Postponed.

2010-07-31T14:00:00.000+10:00

I had every intention of posting pictures of my living room and the changes that we've made, but it is a mess at the moment. While I would typically clean it and take said pictures, my back is excruciatingly painful to the point that I can't walk around and move normally. So, I'm holed up in the office sitting down and hanging out...trying not to move...all day. I will be posting the living room post as soon as I'm able to, though. I'll write something more interesting later, too.

Giveaway Winner!

2010-07-30T08:33:00.000+10:00

This decision was easy. I had planned on randomly selecting the winner from the comments, and since only one person wanted to be the winner, Veri-Tea, you win! Just contact me to claim your beautiful Morning Flowers tea!

Veri-Tea has two beautiful blogs that I have recently started following, and they're both centered around tea, too. I found out about her in The Notebook magazine and have been reading ever since. You can find the link to those blogs on the Right side of this page. Enjoy, and congratulations to Veri-Tea for winning my first giveaway!

GIVEAWAY

2010-07-29T11:53:00.000+10:00

With you, Dear Readers, I will share this moment. It's a historical moment--a moment filled with pride an joy as we enter into my very first giveaway.

Because my blog is somewhat centered around tea, and because I have now posted at least twice about the beautiful loose-leaf tea I purchased at the tea centre, one of you lucky readers will have the opportunity to win 50 grams of Morning Flower Tea and a strainer to make it with.

Here's how you win: In the comments section, answer this question...What is your favourite type of tea? You can tell me all about it or just tell me what kind. Enter the comments by 12 a.m. Friday, 30th of July AEST. I will randomly choose the winner and announce it Friday morning.

Good luck!

Favourite Things Part 2

2010-07-28T11:15:00.001+10:00

If you read my post yesterday, you know that I had to continue my favourite things today since blogger wouldn't let me upload the rest of my photos. So let's get to it!

This is my favourite tea cup. It's the only china teacup I have, and my best friend, Jessie, bought it for me last summer at Downtown Disney in Orlando, FL. As you can see, it has Alice in Wonderland on it and the cutest decorations a girl could ask for in a tea cup. I love drinking my tea from this on nights when Daniel's at work and I'm having girly time to myself. Here's some more details:

See how cute the little fairy rocking horse is?

And the butterflies? I could just faint. Ok, ok, one more. Last one, I promise.

This is just inside the rim. Darling!

And, on to the next favourite thing. I couldn't possibly talk about my favourite tea cup with out addressing my favourite tea. I've told you about it in past posts, but here is a beautiful photo of it. It's called "Morning flowers" and you can get it at the Tea Centre (link to your right>>>>>>>). I enjoy this tea at any time of the day, and because it's green tea, it's better for me! Antioxidants and whatnot. Even my husband, who usually snubs his nose at green tea, loves it and always asks for "the good tea" now.

This is a hair product I bought a few weeks ago out of desperation. I had all my favourite products in America, but moving to another country entails finding new products to love. I tried a few products out before finding this one, and they just left my beautiful wavy hair feeling crunchy and looking wet. Not what I wanted. I wanted a product that would give my waves the structure they needed with out being able to tell I was wearing anything in my hair. So, one day on our holiday to the coast, I stumbled upon a wholesale hair products supply store. The woman at the counter assured me I would love this product, and she was right. It's awesome. It smells good, it looks good, and my hair is normal--not crunchy. A+.

One of my most beloved pastimes is curling up with a cuppa tea and a magazine. This happens to be my favourite magazine, so far, in Australia. The stories are interesting, the beauty tips are great, and there's a good variety of useful information within it's cover. It reminds me of Real Simple in America, but I think I actually like Notebook a bit better.

And, this, my friends, is my bathrobe. Why, you may ask, is it one of my favourite things? Well, in the cold of winter, with no heat in our apartment, this robe has kept me warmer than any heater could have. I bought it at Myer for $28, and the Hubby often laughs when I say,"Best 28 dollars I've ever spent." 'Tis true! I mean, look at the details of the lining: A thing of beauty.

"I simply remember my favourite things, and then I don't feeeeel sooo baaaad!"
Hope you enjoyed my favourite things! Up next: My first GIVEAWAY! Be there or be...oh, you know.

These Are a Few of My Favourite Things

2010-07-27T20:59:00.000+10:00

"Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens..."

I've always been inspired by Maria's attitude in "Sound of Music." She has such a positive outlook on life. That movie has gotten me through a lot of hard times. So, inspired by Sister Maria, I bring you a few of my favourite things. Not only will I tell you about them, I'll show you! Isn't that exciting?!

I love candles. Especially when they are pink. This particular candle hangs out in my living room. It's by Dusk and smells lovely. Christmas present from the in-laws. Anyway, there's nothing I love more than lighting a candle on a rainy day and reading for hours on end (with a cuppa tea, of course).

Next up: My beloved piano. I started playing piano at the tender age of 8 and have loved it ever since. My sweet husband surprised me by buying a piano for me for Valentine's day this past year. To understand the enormous excitement within me with this purchase, you would have to know that I haven't had a piano to practice on since graduating high school (about 5 years). Oh, my beloved, I'm glad to have you back.

I love fall (autumn). I took this photo spontaneously while driving through Toowoomba with my hubby awhile back. I ecstaticly told him to slow down so that I could take it, and he obliged. This street reminded me of living in Tennessee where the leaves change colors drastically and shower us with their loving jewels every year. Although we don't get the same effect here in Australia, we do get a small taste of it. Enough to make me nostalgically snap photos like a crazy old woman. Love.

And, now that we're on the topic of Australia, lets just talk about the things I love here. First off, the adorably cuddly, adorably soft koala bear. This guy was just deciding to move around and eat (they sleep about 23 hours a day, so to see them move is hard to catch). I later pet one, and they seriously have the softest fur. Cute.

Of course, I can't talk about animals with out talking about kangaroos. I am a five year old little girl when we go to the Australia Zoo's "kangaroo heaven." Hubster and I went for our two year anniversary this year, and I made him take heaps of photos of me with these guys. This is one of many. You know what I love about them? The way they hop. The little girl inside me has an urge to hop around just like them, but that would just be silly of me, and you all know I'm never silly. Teehee.

Oh, Australia. Thank you for having this ice cream bar. I can't even describe to you how much I love these. This was the first one I ever tried, and it was on our anniversary at the zoo, too. Yum-o.

I'm going to have to continue this post tomorrow, because the rest of my photos aren't uploading!

Stay tuned...

This week on Tea&Ink

2010-07-26T17:42:00.000+10:00

Image by Getty Images via @daylife

Hello Friends!

Here are some things to look forward to this week:

*A few of my favourite things
*My very first giveaway! Be there or be square.
*Before and afters of my living room. It's still a work in progress, but I'll share a few things we've done to improve it already. It's hard to improve a place that isn't yours to paint, refloor, etc, but we have worked hard on it and I'll be giving a few tips for how you renters out there can do the same (unless, of course, you have landlords that are more lenient with the painting and nailing holes in the walls than ours).
* Maybe a new recipe to go with your cuppa tea.

Hope to see you through the week!

Love,

Your Tea Drinker

2010-07-24T10:54:00.000+10:00

Image by ...anna christina... via Flickr

Yesterday, I went out with my friend Gabby to go shopping. We went our usual route to Grand Central and she saw a friend. Now, while this wouldn't typically be a big deal, her friend reminded me that a new shop had opened across town. The new shop was supposed to be an Aussie version of Ross or TJ Maxx. Let me just tell you that Trade Secret is quite possible the best store I've ever walked into. It kicks both Ross and TJ Maxx in the hiney, and I thoroughly enjoyed it! I bought a pair of cargo pants on sale for $15 (originally $79) and a cute teal top with rosettes around the collar for $15. I could have stayed for hours.

Some of you may be wondering why this event is worth my writing about. Let me 'splain. In Australia, everything is about twice as expensive as America--especially clothes. I'm not exaggerating. Not only is it twice as expensive, but you're not paying more for quality, you're just paying more. So, when I go through bouts of homesickness, part of what I long for is the shopping experiences I have in America. I haven't had a time where shopping for clothes has been anything but slightly frustrating, because I'm usually paying twice as much for something I could get for much cheaper (but, Daniel reminds me, this is home now). A lot of times, I leave empty-handed, discouraged by the fact that I just spend two hours looking for a nice dress or blouse and wasted my time. Trade Secret has changed all that. In a way, it's changed my life in Oz...my outlook on shopping. I don't know that I'll ever go anywhere else around here for clothes or accessories anymore.

This ad brought to you by a crazy American tightwad.

No more qualms

2010-07-19T18:14:00.000+10:00

I grew up with supportive parents that told me I could use my talents and hard work to do whatever I wanted with my life. I learned early on that I was good at music, at writing, and making up games for me and my brothers. What did I always want to do when I grew up, though? I wanted to get married, have children, and be a stay at home mother. I lost sight of this dream as the years went by, because I was told by teachers, society, and other family members that I had to go to college and have a career before I could settle down. At the tender age of 17, I graduated high school and was immediately expected to know everything I wanted to do with my life (Haven't you ever asked someone who just graduated what their plans were: What they would major in, do after college, etc? I know I have). As the years at college flew by, I married my sweet husband Daniel and ended up getting my Associates in Bible out of confusion for what I really wanted to do with my life. Six months after getting married, I knew exactly what I wanted once again: I wanted to be a good wife and (eventually) a good mother. Since then, I have had the opportunity to stay at home and be a stay at home wife, and I love it. Some people in my life have tried to make me feel bad about my desires, both to be a wife and mother and to use the gifts and talents that God has given me in my ministries and life rather than focusing on a career.

Last week, on my morning walk, God gave me a little insight about what He desires for our lives. A bird called out nearby, and I thought, "How annoying." Then, I realized that the bird had no qualms about whether or not I felt annoyed or not. The bird didn't care whether or not it was cuter than other birds or faster or whether or not it's call was sweeter or more obnoxious. The bird simply was exactly the way God made it--and so is every other animal, too. Why, then, do we humans toss and turn, feeling guilty about the way God made us? We have no reason to do so.

So, join me, Friends, as I make a conscious decision to embrace who God made me to be--to not be ashamed of who I am anymore. Join me in humbly embracing the gifts and talents He has given us and not worrying about a career, or money, or what other people think anymore. Because, in the end of it all, when we stand before Him, our annual salary or the fact that we may or may not have been a CEO of a big company won't matter anymore. All that will matter is that we followed Him and did what He told us to do, even if it looked stupid to everyone else.

The Frenchman who made me want to wee wee

2010-07-16T20:15:00.000+10:00

   As I stumbled out into the cold winter morning, I had a feeling the day ahead would prove interesting. Mondays have never treated me very well, and I wondered if this Monday would change its tune. I looked at my watch and nervously paced around our unheated apartment. One hour to go before I took a test. At 22, I haven't taken a test in, oh, about two years--and a driver's test? Try 7 years. Not only would I take a driving test in an hour, but I heard rumors that the tester was French. Out of all the nationalities, it had to be the one that hates Americans possibly more than any other country.
   Maybe he's not as bad, I thought. Maybe I should give him a chance. Oh, Lord, please help him to be nice.
   Fast forward an hour: I'm standing outside in front of the car waiting on what I now knew to be the Frenchman that everyone had told me about. When he finally came out, he had me turn the lights and blinkers on--so far, so normal. We climbed into the car and awkwardly sat there while he scribbled on his clipboard. I tried not to listen to his breathing. It didn't work. His nose whistled with each breath.
   "Ken you tell me what zis is?" He pointed to the tab on the rearview mirror.
   "Um, it's what you use when the lights are too bright at night and you need to see better."
   No response. He continued to scribble. And whistle.
   "O-kay drive."
   "Okay." Shifting the car in reverse, I let up on the clutch and started to reverse. I had to immediately stop due to the car in the near distance about to pass by. After a few cars passed, I tried to creep back a little more. No luck.
   Whistle. Whistle. Awkward pause.
   "This is a really busy time," I said, trying to break the silence. My mom has always been a little uncomfortable with complete silence. I've since learned I'm just like her.
   The car stalled. I restarted it and prayed he wouldn't fail me on the spot. Finally, I reversed out of the space and started to drive. For a few minutes, things were going smoothly, but then he asked me to "tun adight." Immediately upon turning right, he said something I couldn't understand.
   "What?"
   "Yu hold de clutch down win yu tun. Zat is very bad." My sweat glands started going crazy at this point.
   A few minutes, I was yielding to oncoming traffic and getting ready to turn when he said, "No hand inside." Naturally, I stared at him like he was crazy. I had no idea what he meant, but he kept repeating himself. "No hand inside." Finally, he explained. "Yu should always keep your hands outside ze wheel. No hand inside." So, for the next few minutes, I consciously tried to do that. I failed. "No hand inside," he kept barking. At this point, I felt humiliated and wanted to go home and cry to my mama while eating large helpings of chocolate fudge chunk ice cream and putting tissues under my sweaty underarms.
   Let me just give a shout out to all you kindred middle children out there. You know where I'm at, right? Excuse this nerdy counselor excerpt: Middle children have a few traits that basically describe me as a person. Easily embarrassed is one of them, and when this happens to me, I am hurt and angry. Another one: I explain myself. This message sponsored by the over-explaining of a disturbed middle child (although another trait of middle children is that they are the most functional in society--no kidding).
   So, back to the story. Humiliated, I knew I had probably failed the test and didn't want to finish. Every minute, every mistake, screamed "failure" in my easily embarrassed, over-explaining, middle-child heart. Especially when he fussed at me for having the car in neutral when I stopped (I wasn't going to just leave it there. I was about to switch to first gear before I started to go, but then he yelled at me. There I go over-explaining again. Hehe, sorry). After what seemed like an eternity of mortifying criticism, we arrived back at the police station. The whole hour was topped off by my stalling the engine just as I pulled into the parking space.
   Great. Here it goes.
   "Yu weren't very prepaiyad for zis, were yu?"
   "I didn't know what to expect," I nervously replied, hoping he didn't notice how much I was sweating.
   He then went to explain...something...but I couldn't understand anything he said. When he said, "Wee open back up at too," I hoped that meant I had passed. Regardless, I knew I needed a moment to myself. I stayed in the car for a minute and had a quick little cry and a few deep breaths. It was over. No more to worry about. The feelings of being mortified didn't go away for the rest of the day, though.
   I did successfully pass the driver's test, and my picture turned out better than the previous license. My advice after this endeavor: If you have a Frenchman assess your driving at any point, wear a depends and extra layers for sweat absorption.

2010-07-16T15:47:00.000+10:00

My Dear Readers: I'm sorry that I haven't written any more yet this week. I feel like a whirlwind came through and swept away my time so that I didn't have any left to offer my beloved blog. Anyway, I have a few hours to sip my tea and write about my driver's test in a little while, which I will promptly do when my dear husband leaves for work.
Come back real soon!

2010-07-12T20:22:00.000+10:00

Things to watch for in the near future:

A new short story! I started going through my lit. notes and am using the techniques to start a new story. I think my writer's block is gone.
Today, I went to get my manual driver's license. It was a traumatizing experience. I'm going to tell you all about it.
This morning, as I walked, God shared with me a little about being who I am and not being ashamed. I'll tell you more about it in a separate post.

So, that's what's on the menu for this week! Tomorrow's a la carte: Being assessed in my driving by *gulp* a Frenchman.

2010-07-11T09:28:00.000+10:00

Do you ever have days where you just want to know what you're supposed to do with your life right now? Yesterday was like that for me. When I went on my morning walk, I was praying about what God wanted me to be focusing on right now--and that's when it happened. I thought of our incredibly messy spare bedroom. You can't even completely fathom how messy...trust me. I knew that's what I was to focus on. I worked all day on it, and it's looking a lot better, but I still have a long way to go. That's not what I got on here to write about, though. I had so much fun finding some of my old journals, pictures, and awards that I won in school. I set those aside in a "memory" box. I also found a lot of sweet and cherished cards and notes that I've gotten over the years from my friends and family. It was thrilling, actually. Another thing I found were some booklets from my lit. classes in college. I set them aside and am going to use them to help me write some more short stories and see where I go with it. It's been awhile since I've been inspired to write, because I've had writer's block. I think writer's block may be over. Stay tuned.

2010-07-06T15:05:00.000+10:00

I went to my naturopath, Leisa, this morning. Good news! My vitamin deficiencies are back to normal. Previously, I was deficient in all the B vitamins and sometimes D and a myriad of others. Today, it was just zinc! I can't complain about that at all. So, I've decided that eating fish 3 or more times a week is the answer to everything for me. It's something I've only been doing in the past few weeks, and it's benefiting me immensely. My body's working again, I'm feeling better, and it's helping my nutrient levels.

In other news, this week is SO FUN! As we speak, I am at my in-laws house awaiting the arrival of some friends to eat Mexican food (my in-laws Mexican food is THE BEST) and play Wii and watch movies. THEN tomorrow I have a staff meeting in which we are going putt-put golfing, and then I'm leaving straight from there and going on a mini-holiday to the coast! I CAN'T WAIT! I've needed to get away for awhile, and this is the perfect opportunity. So good!

I would ask how your weeks are going, but I'm not really sure if anyone's reading this...hello? Are you there? Can you hear me now?

"Goodbye forever."

Inspiration, I suppose.

2010-06-28T15:07:00.000+10:00

I don't know if anyone out there writes, but sometimes I have the hardest time getting started if I want to write a short story or novel. Sometimes I miss the pressure of my advanced writing class--to get 10 pages of writing done every so often. I also have the typical writer's attitude where I read back through what I've written and want to just trash it most of the time. Yet, I'm still in the mood to write...and I have my tea, music, and laptop, so what more do I need? Inspiration, I suppose.

2010-06-25T15:23:00.000+10:00

Here's some great news...are you ready? Pandora has a Glee radio station!!!! Aaaaa! Another great stress reliever. Especially if you're dancing around while you get ready for a date with your hubby. Just an example.

The "tea" side of tea&ink

2010-06-24T11:59:00.001+10:00

Last week, my father-in-law took me and Daniel to the Gold Coast for the day. I had the best time shopping. What I'd like to share with you, however, has to do not only with that day, but with every day in my life.

Some people wake up every morning and can't make it through with out coffee. I know this is a common occurrence in American households. In Australia, tea seems to be the more common staple of each household (although, I think they'll drink any hot drink gladly and willingly, coffee included). Before I moved to Australia, I loved tea. Since moving here, though, tea has become somewhat of an obsession. So what does this have to do with shopping at the Gold Coast? Well, my friends, let me share with you...

We had to go to the Robina Town Center for FIL's Mactop (the self-coined term for a laptop that's a Mac. It's easier to say than "macbook"). Anyway, as we were walking toward the Apple Store, I saw the most glorious thing: A store full of tea pots, tea kettles, and a wall of loose leaf tea! I immediately, excitedly, enthusiastically, exclaimed that I needed to go there. Like I said, obsession. Anyway, my opportunity came a few minutes later. I dropped "the boys" off at the Apple Store, and made my way over to the tea store. I felt like heaven had come to earth in that little store. I looked at all the beautiful tea pots and kettles and tools and then made my way to the wall of loose leaf tea. Now, I had never tried loose leaf tea before, so I was a total and complete loss as to what I wanted or how to even make it. All I knew was that some weeks, at my craft group, the hostess makes tea loose leaf, and I always like it so much better than the tea bags. I like my tea strong. So, I marched up the counter and asked the lady what she recommended. After asking me a couple of questions, she pulled a beautiful smelling tea out called Morning Flowers. I bought 100 grams of it, and I'm already down to my last little bit in the two weeks since we've been there. Luckily, they do mail orders. :) I don't know that I can ever go back to drinking from tea bags with the option of loose leaf tea around me now. There's a completely different flavor. I am, admittedly, becoming a bit spoiled with my tea.

Here's the link to this beautiful store: The Tea Centre . If you are ever in Australia, at the Gold Coast, and you love tea like I do, you should definitely go there. There's nothing like a nice cuppa tea, some "chill" music (Sigur Ros, at the moment), and writing out your thoughts or stories. There's a reason I'm obsessed.